8-10PM 2004 Teen Choice Awards (Fox, TV-PG) It's exactly like the Academy Awards! Except that the ''stars'' tend to be more famous on MTV. And instead of funny patter from Billy Crystal, it's the inane blather of ''The Simple Life 2'''s Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (left) as hosts. Oh, and the categories aren't Best Picture or Best Actor; instead votes get tallied for winners of Choice: Male Hottie and Choice: Liplock. And no, Adrien Brody isn't eligible.
NOON-12:30PM Wendy Williams Is on Fire(VH1, TV-14) Probably from Usher's death rays when she called him a fake. (R)
8-9PM The Most Outrageous Game Show Moments 2 (NBC, TV-14) Includes clips from ''The Newlywed Game.'' Uh-oh. Did someone forget to call it ''whoopee''? (R)
8-9PM Amish in the City (UPN) Somehow, Ariel is giving passive-aggressive vegan fascists a bad name.
