Hit List

Dalton Ross's Hit List

The 10 hottest topics for the week of Aug. 20, 2004

Dalton Ross's Hit List for the week of Aug. 20, 2004

1 SHREK 2 OUT ON DVD SAME DAY THAT PIXAR'S THE INCREDIBLES HITS THEATERS
This is a tough one, kids. You might want to begin begging your parents starting right...NOW!

2 JESSICA SIMPSON TO PLAY NFL'S KICKOFF CONCERT
So, basically the NFL has traded an exposed breast for a ''stinky ass.'' That makes sense.

3 THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2: ROYAL ENGAGEMENT OPENS
Dear diary, I sorta want to catch this teen chick flick, but I'm not a teen, and I'm not a chick. So my interest could be seen as a bit creepy. For the love of Anne Hathaway, what to do?!?

4 HALLE BERRY SAYS SHE'S INTERESTED IN MAKING A CATWOMAN SEQUEL
Is this some sort of wacky nine lives thing? Because if so, we are all in serious trouble.

5 JANET JACKSON TO GUEST-STAR ON WILL & GRACE
We would say the ''stinky ass'' was busy, but that brings up all sorts of disturbing images.

6 SEINFELD COMING TO DVD
Included are deleted scenes, blooper reels, an alternate version of the pilot, and cast commentaries -- which is a lot of somethings for a show about nothing.

7 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN LEADS TOUR TO UNSEAT PREZ BUSH
Apparently New Jersey's Boss doesn't like the country's big boss man. How early-'90s professional wrestling powerhouse the Big Boss Man (best known for something called the ''Boss Man Slam'') feels about all of this remains unclear.

8 JACK BAUER TO GET A GIRLFRIEND ON 24
At least until she gets amnesia, forgets she's his girlfriend, ends up caught in a bear trap, and generally just starts to unravel at about hour 15.

9 OPRAH SIGNS ON THROUGH 2011
She deserves it.

10 PARIS HILTON'S HOME ROBBED
She deser...oh, we kid 'cause we love. But not really.

Originally posted Aug 20, 2004 Published in issue #779-780 Aug 20, 2004 Order article reprints
Advertisement

From Our Partners