TV Recap

Plowed Fast Rules

On ''The Amazing Race,'' even a broken ox can't stop Colin and Christie. Meanwhile, Chip and Kim learn that mean guys finish first, the Godels get self-reliant, and the Bowling Moms strike a blow for underappreciated mothers everywhere

The Amazing Race | PADDY WHACKED Colin and Christie were a bad farm team
Image credit: Colin and Christie: Tony Esparza
PADDY WHACKED Colin and Christie were a bad farm team

''The Amazing Race'': Losing doesn't stop Colin and Christie

You know it's a good episode when you are screaming at the TV, jumping up and down, and whooping it up in a room all by yourself. I don't think my adrenalin has ever pumped so hard. Am I wrong? Was it not thrilling? Don't you still want to punch Colin in the face?

For one thing, Colin and Christie deserved to get screwed getting from New Zealand to the Philippines. There was no reason for them to be so damn smug with their lead. We all know anything can happen, and it was joyous to see the two miss their connection in Singapore and have to join the others at the airport in Hong Kong, their tails between their legs. Add to this their arriving last to the jeepney garage, and you've got a beaten-down team. Too bad for them their asses got Yielded by Chip and Kim. While Colin and Christie waited helplessly, the fire in Colin's eyes was intense and full of hate.

But hey, they totally deserved it, Colin for being such an ass and Christie for, well, we'll get to that later. As a result of the Yield, they got to the Detour last and didn't know what the hell they were doing. Did you notice how every team except Colin and Christie used both members to maneuver the ox and plow the land? Poor Colin didn't look too good as he completely lost it. Even his ox was pissed at him. (I don't blame the ox, I wouldn't want someone yelling at me either.) Not only did the ox run away from Colin; he was also, according to Colin, ''broken.'' Actually, the ox just wanted to be treated with respect, and he didn't appreciate Colin's screaming, ''I hate you!'' Although it would have been great if Colin had told Christie he hated her (that's how the scene looked in last week's coming attractions), but we can't always get what we want.

We did, however, get to see Christie also acting like an ass. How rude of it was her to tell their driver in Manila to run the pedestrians over? And what the hell was she thinking reaching over and honking the horn? Christie didn't care who she had to kill in order to gain the lead. Under Colin's -- and the race's -- influence, she's gone from doormat to bitch. While trying to encourage the driver to pass a competing team, she had the nerve to say, ''They played unfair!'' Oh, and when nice Christie blocked that airport door . . . forget it, I won't go there. As usual, all the fussing didn't matter, because Colin and Christie once again lucked out. Even though they lost, this week was another non-elimination round.

But what does this mean for Chip and Kim? They threw out their strategy of being the ''nice guys'' this episode -- as evidenced by Chip's graceful plowing over of Linda when heading toward the garage. Give that man a sedative; he's got too much energy. And what is it with Kim? Has she done anything this race besides criticize? First it was all about overspending, and now whenever there's a Roadblock or Detour, it seems Chip is always the guinea pig or the workhorse. Did you hear her say, ''You know you're doing it,'' once Chip opened the envelope? Way to go, Kim. At least you weren't being a whiny sissy like Christie during the Detour. You got all dirty! Work it girl!

Speaking of working it, what about those Godels? Their passion and drive to win has never been stronger. And don't think I haven't noticed how the editing gurus work. There was only one instance this episode of a church organ sounding, when they got into the cab going to the pit stop in Manila. And most references to God were undercut by other action. I like that.

I was amazed, however, at Linda's moxie. She was scared of heights, but damn, did she get up that ladder and walk across the girder during the Roadblock. Sure, the Bowling Moms freaked out driving back to Auckland, and they got a little lost, but they straightened it all out. They're moms after all! It's like Karen said: ''Moms can fix anything!'' So true, but fixing doesn't mean you'll always win . . . oh wait, how did they end up in second place this leg? Maybe they can pull it off.

The race to the finish line, the Coconut Palace, was absolutely insane. When the Godels' driver asked them, ''The Cookie Palace?'' I damn near peed my pants. Yes! Classic, classic, classic! And did I not predict that there would be four teams running during the season finale? It looks like we are in for one hell of a conclusion next week.

What do you think? As the teams rush to the finish line, are you pumped or played out?

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Originally posted Sep 15, 2004
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