Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Image credit: Resident Evil: Apocalypse: Rolf Konow

SEE NO 'EVIL' Hmmm...there’s a reason they didn’t screen this for us

Last year’s 28 Days Later and this year’s Dawn of the Dead remake were so thrilling largely because they gave us zombies, formerly a tad poky on screen, who sprinted like velociraptors after human flesh. In Resident Evil: Apocalypse, the undead are back to stumbling in the dark, sometimes even in blurry slo-mo, making the many packs of them about as terrifying as the mobs waiting for Matt and Katie outside the Today studio. And that’s the least of this horrid movie’s disappointments. As a vanquisher named Alice trying to get out of the plague-infested Raccoon City, Milla Jovovich videogamely kicks into action with a backflip off a motorcycle after she rams it through a stained-glass cathedral window, but the rest of the cast is strictly straight-to-DVD. So’s the rest of this shotgun-to-the-head movie, which made a killing in its opening weekend-boding well for an apocalypse of the cinematic variety.