Sound Bites

Sound Bites

''Obviously, it's not nice to shoot people.'' FORMER LONG ISLAND LOLITA AMY FISHER, DISCUSSING HER CRIME, ON THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW

''The bitch poured beer on my weave!'' TIFFANY, EXPLAINING HER BAR FIGHT, ON AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

''TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart is in trouble for saying that he would kill any gay man who looked at him romantically. In response, a spokesperson for gay men said, 'Hey, we're gay. We're not blind.''' CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

''Dolly told me that she was definitely going to vote for Leann. I nearly dropped my teeth.'' 59-YEAR-OLD SCOUT ON SURVIVOR: VANUATU

''I'm like a ripe fruit that's ready to fall off the vine. It just needs to be picked by the right guy.'' CYNTHIA ON THE BACHELOR

Originally posted Oct 08, 2004 Published in issue #787 Oct 08, 2004 Order article reprints
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