''Sometimes we even kiss people who are just our friends — kind of like a high five on the lips.'' GABRIELLE (EVA LONGORIA), AFTER A 9-YEAR-OLD NEIGHBOR (ASHLEY BUKOWKI) CATCHES HER MAKING OUT WITH HER GARDENER, ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
''Grace, he's a gay Catholic. He may never feel clean.'' WILL (ERIC McCORMACK), AFTER GRACE (DEBRA MESSING) COMPLAINS THAT HIS BOYFRIEND (BOBBY CANNAVALE) TAKES TOO LONG IN THE SHOWER, ON WILL & GRACE
''I feel like your dad dying has stolen my diabetes thunder.'' RECENTLY DIAGNOSED TURK (DONALD FAISON) TO J.D. (ZACH BRAFF), ON SCRUBS
