1 METALLICA Metallica 1991 (Elektra) ''This is the record I lost my hearing to.''
2 THE OTTO-MAN EMPIRE Satan's Henchmen circa mid-'70s (Self-released) ''This is the album I recorded in my garage, back when I had a garage.''
3 POISON Look What the Cat Dragged In 1986 (Capitol) ''This band played at my wedding. I never paid them.''
4 BLUE OYSTER CULT Don't Fear the Reaper 2000 (Columbia/Legacy) ''I dare you to find a better cowbell-based album.''
5 METALLICA Metallica 1991 (Elektra) ''Did I say this one already? I forget, I'm so wasted.''
6 LED ZEPPELIN Led Zeppelin IV 1971 (Atlantic) ''If you have to ask why, you must die.''
7 SPINAL TAP Smell the Glove 1982 (Polymer) ''I feel like I was their bass player in another life.''
8 FRANK SINATRA Songs for Swingin' Lovers! 1956 (Capitol) ''I don't really like it, but it's great to hide my stash in.''
9 THE SIMPSONS The Simpsons Sing the Blues 1990 (Geffen) ''Everyone should go out and buy this album again.''
10 TED NUGENT Motor City Madness 1996 (Sony Special Products) ''The music sucks, but anyone who kills an elk with an arrow is okay in my book.''
11 RAMONES Road to Ruin 1978 (Sire) ''For when I'm feeling thoughtful.''
12 SSGT. BARRY SADLER Ballads of the Green Berets 1966 (RCA Victor) ''My dad killed himself to this.''
The 16th season of The Simpsons begins Nov. 7 at 8 p.m. on Fox.