PHONE NUMBERS LIZ PHAIR WISHES SHE HAD ON SPEED DIAL
J.K. ROWLING ''I want to pester, pester, pester tell her what I think should happen next [in the Harry Potter books].''
DICK CHENEY ''I'd ask him, 'What the hell are you thinking?' He's the most mysterious man in modern times. For Halloween I want to be Cheney obviously I'm a chick so it might not work with a little marionette puppet of George.''
STEVIE WONDER ''I'm obsessed with him right now. I'd call him and ask, 'What the hell makes you so damn happy?'''
MICK JAGGER ''I'd call him up and just lay phonies on him. You know, like [heavy breathing]...you know, phonies? Like crank calling? It's a Midwestern thing.''
RHYMES THAT RAPPER-TURNED-SOUL SINGER ANGIE STONE WISHES SHE'D WRITTEN
1 ''If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son/I got ninety-nine problems and a bitch ain't one'' from ''99 Problems'' by Ice-T
2 ''Ain't nobody dope as me/I'm just so fresh, so clean'' from ''So Fresh, So Clean'' by OutKast
3 ''Why my niggas ain't get that cake?/Why's a brother up North better than Jordan/That ain't get that break?'' from ''Why?'' by Jadakiss
4 ''They'll forever be, I ain't on some 'Oh I'm a celebrity'/ I deal with the real so if it's artificial let it be'' from ''You Got Me'' by the Roots
5 ''The three six oh-riginal sketch lyrics so visual/They rent my rhyme books at your nearest home video'' from ''Speed Law'' by Mos Def
CARS JOEL MADDEN WISHES HE DROVE
When not mocking the lifestyles of the rich and famous as frontman of pop-punks Good Charlotte, Joel Madden dabbles in at least one rock-star perk: pimped-out rides. We indulged him in a little shoptalk.
L2T What car tops your wish list?
JM I really like '65 Chevy Impalas. But for the new cars, I really like the [Rolls-Royce] Phantom. Oh, man, they're just the most ballingest cars.
L2T How would you pimp your ride?
JM I like buying a car that's sturdy inside, putting some really nice rims on it, tint out the windows, smoke out the lights, and maybe custom floor mats, and not overdoing it with the stereo system. Totally classy.
L2T For the record, how many cars is too many?
JM I think three is a good amount. That's setting aside classic cars. I think you can have as many of those as you want. But for luxury cars, no more than two or three. I mean, when are you gonna drive four cars?
CONCERTS RUFUS WAINWRIGHT WISHES HE COULD HAVE SEEN
Since Rufus Wainwright is about to release a concert DVD with his new album, Want Two (largely recorded during the same sessions as last year's Want One), L2T asked the singer-songwriter which live shows he wishes he could have attended. His choices are as rich and eclectic as his music.
Nina Simone in Paris, 1968 [recorded as a live album, The Great Show of Nina Simone: Live in Paris] ''This is an album I was obsessed with for many years. There's so much variety to the show French, English, Broadway. It goes very well with my own schizophrenic tastes.''