Star Wishes

We want American groupies! Then again...

The band optimistically surveys a trendy West Hollywood hotel bar. It's 11 p.m. on a Monday night — slim pickings for potential groupies. A bleary-eyed McCabe glances down at his third cosmo perched in his right hand. ''If I was ever seen drinking one of these fruity pink things in Liverpool,'' he slurs, ''I'd get my 'ed kicked in.'' Three Sarah Jessica types politely chat with the Zutons for 20 minutes before explaining that they have to go home to their husbands. The band is, surprisingly, relieved. ''I live with my girlfriend back home,'' Pritchard says earnestly. ''I'm not, eh, really allowed to have groupies. I'd get in trouble.''

WISH BAND ''MEMBER''

''I really like the Hives. I'd like to cast singer Pelle Almqvist or guitarist Nicholaus Arson. And it's not just because there's a song called 'Love in Plaster' on their new album.'' —Cynthia Plaster Caster

SOLOS TOM MORELLO WISHES HE'D PLAYED

Morello is an axe wizard in his own right, sure. But that doesn't mean the Rage Against the Machine-turned-Audioslave guitarist doesn't have solo envy.

RANDY RHOADS on ''Crazy Train'' by Ozzy Osbourne

''It's the blazingest guitar solo by one of the blazingest guitar players of all time. He was a genius at combining musicality with incredible dexterity and power.''

JIMI HENDRIX on ''All Along the Watchtower'' by the Jimi Hendrix Experience

''This solo comes in three movements, each one blending together and escalating. It takes an already great Bob Dylan lyric and elevates it to dizzying heights.''

KEITH RICHARDS on ''Sympathy for the Devil'' by the Rolling Stones

''It's simple, effective, and every bit as threatening as the lyrics. The stabs of notes he plays made me worry that Beelzebub might materialize in the speakers.''

I WISH SEMISONIC WERE STILL RELEVANT

Jacob Slichter, drummer for on-hiatus pop trio Semisonic, remembers the good old days, when the band was skating on their '98 runaway single ''Closing Time.'' He chronicled Semisonic's blaze of glory, and dreary retreat into obscurity, in his wry cautionary tale, So You Wanna Be a Rock & Roll Star. He tells L2T what he misses most about being almost famous. (Yellowcard, take note.)

''The hardest thing wasn't losing the hotel rooms or the suspension in the Mercedes limo, it was knowing our aura had dimmed considerably in the eyes of the record company and radio stations. It's the difference between walking into a party and everybody looking over and smiling, and walking in and barely getting anybody to have a conversation with you.''