''Honey, I'm mid-schmear.'' SANDY (PETER GALLAGHER), EXCUSING HIMSELF FROM ANSWERING THE PHONE, ON ''THE O.C.''
''You sleep with one old guy and suddenly you're Catherine Zeta-Jones.'' PARIS (LIZA WEIL). CONVINCED THAT ANOTHER PROFESSOR HAS THE HOTS FOR HER, ON ''GILMORE GIRLS''
''President Bush's nomination for attorney general is Alberto Gonzales, who the president has nicknamed 'The Judge.' Though, what do you want to bet that when Gonzales isn't in the room, he calls him 'Speedy'?'' AMY POEHLER ON ''SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE''
''I feel like we're like Noah's ark, only on our ship we gathered two of every idiot.'' THEO, ON THE BOYS' INABILITY TO DEFEAT THE GIRLS IN A BOAT-BUILDING CONTEST, ON ''THE REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CHALLENGE: BATTLE OF THE SEXES 2''.