Isle Be Damned

And you thought Rudy Boesch was the bluntest, most blithely unevolved man in America. Actually, ''Survivor'''s second runner up is just one of many. As proof, EW.com offers the highlights of Rudy's recent roast at the Norfolk, Va., Naval Station Officers Club by a rowdy group of Navy SEALS, who good naturedly ripped into their fellow frogman -- winner of a Bronze Star for service in Vietnam -- for allowing the CBS game show's $1 million prize to slip away when he carelessly let go of a pole during the final endurance challenge. So as the former military man might say, Listen up people, you just might learn something.

The reason A dinner to honor women of the Naval Special Warfare community -- including Rudy's wife, Marge Boesch

The personnel About 100 members of the UDT/SEAL Association, along with some current frogmen and some high ranking Navy brass

The ground rules No teasing Rudy about rubbing lotion on Richard Hatch's back! (''A couple days before I found out he was queer,'' Rudy later explained.)

How did the emcee capture the crowd's attention? Retired naval commander ''Black Jack'' Macione fired a round of blanks.

The big question for Rudy ''How does it feel losing a million bucks doing the most stupid thing I've ever seen?''

Black Jack's theory Rudy forgot to adhere to ''What Richard told you every night -- hold on to THIS and don't let go.''

The response from the ''Don't Ask, Don't Tell'' contingent Dutiful groans

In case you missed the joke Black Jack presented Rudy and Marge with a large pink dildo.

Putting that lost $1 million prize into perspective Rear Admiral Thomas Steffens took a more serious tack when he addressed the crowd: ''I read a lot more into Rudy letting go [of the pole] in that final act. Perhaps if we all let go of the wealth that obsesses us, and stay focused on the important things like living up to our word, we'd be a little happier.''

Rudy reveals the less glamorous side of shooting a TV commercial for Universal's theme parks ''I rode that roller coaster three times in the front seat with a camera right there. A fourth time and I woulda plastered that thing [with vomit].''

Rudy's earnings for the near blowing of chunks? A reported $25,000 -- same as he got for his Got Milk? ad.

Rudy looks to the future. ''I go from day to day. They tell me to go here, go there -- some of it's profitable -- and I follow orders.'' Words to live by.