2004 Breakouts

Breakouts We Want To Go Back In

KEVIN FEDERLINE

As much as we love to see a straight dude succeed in the competitive world of diva hubbying (affirmative action at work!), we can do without the whole skeevy, saggy-pants circus.

THAT CATERWAULING, BIGMOUTHED GHOST KID FROM THE GRUDGE

All right, all right, I'm scared. Now shut that gaping cake hole before Harry Knowles stumbles in and dies.

PARIS HILTON

Remember when ''Hilton'' connoted nothing more scandalous than an overpriced continental breakfast? Oh, those were good times. Good times.

POST-TRIMSPA ANNA NICOLE

Congrats on your reduction. Now is there a pill to make you go away entirely?

TARA REID'S BOOB

If we had a time machine... Okay, we'd still go back and stop Battlefield Earth. But keeping the wraps on that tragic mammary ranks a close second.

Originally posted Dec 13, 2004 Published in issue #797 Dec 17, 2004 Order article reprints