Television

Sound Bites

TV's funniest quotes for the week of December 17, 2004

''A Las Vegas casino [may sign] Barry Manilow to a $60 million contract. So now when you go to Vegas you can either shoot crap or listen to it.''
CONAN O'BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN

''They're coming for everything. They're going to take our jobs, our thunder, our starter husbands.''
PARIS (LIZA WEIL), FREAKED OUT BY THE INCOMING FRESHMEN GIRLS, ON GILMORE GIRLS

''She's a little intimidating, but it's not really going head-to-head — it's more like going head-to-boobs.''
NICOLE EGGERT, ON COMPETING AGAINST TOWERING FELLOW ''GINGER,'' RACHEL HUNTER, ON THE REAL GILLIGAN'S ISLAND

''Oscar, close it. You look like the window of a butcher shop.''
LUCILLE (JESSICA WALTER), TO A BATHROBED OSCAR (JEFFREY TAMBOR), ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

Originally posted Dec 13, 2004 Published in issue #797 Dec 17, 2004 Order article reprints