TEARS OF THE SUN (2003)

ROLE He's no-nonsense Navy SEAL lieutenant A.K. Waters. The mission: Extricate a doctor (Monica Bellucci) — and fine, her patients too — from war-torn Nigeria.

HAIR Not for this Rambo. Though it might've helped camouflage him in the jungle.

BOX OFFICE A weepy $44 million. Apparently, we like Bruce to be a soldier, but not an actual soldier.

WILLIS' LOCKS AT THE BOX OFFICE SCORE Hair 4; Bald 3