MOST PAINFUL BANTER: THE INTRODUCTION
Remember just a few short months ago when the writers were on strike? Without writers, there'd be no quips like the classic lines of TV dialogue, doled out to various actors, that opened the show. Without writers, TV would look and sound like that unwatchably awkward confab of five reality hosts that marred the opening. ''We have absolutely nothing,'' Jeff Probst said as the superfluous quintet stammered awkwardly for several minutes. ''This is not a bit,'' confirmed Howie Mandel. Finally, in a move smacking of desperation, two men ripped off Heidi Klum's tuxedo to reveal a skimpy, sparkly getup underneath. As Entourage's Jeremy Piven, the evening's first winner, put it, ''What if I just kept talking for 12 minutes, what would happen?'' Now we know.