Jerri Blank (Amy Sedaris)
Strangers With Candy

Okay, so maybe this is more just me wanting to be BFF with the incredible edible Amy Sedaris. But I'll take Jerri Blank! You're probably thinking either ''Who's Jerri Blank?'' (shame on you), or ''But Annie, Jerri's a horrible friend!'' I know that. I want to be her bitch. Her Orlando, or even her Tamela, so she could call me endearing names like ''Firecrotch'' and generally treat me like dirt. Come on... I'd get to go to Flatpoint High and take history with Stephen Colbert! BONUS: Next to her, I could wear my cozies every day and yet always look great. AND: As a former boozer, user, and loser, she'd be perfect at a party. Or in my apartment. She just better not steal my TV. — Annie Barrett