DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
''If There's Anything I Can't Stand'' Oct. 21 (ABC)
Everyone on Wisteria Lane was downright crabby: Bree (Marcia Cross) got an unwelcome shower for her faux baby. The new couple on the block, Bob (Tuc Watkins) and Lee (Kevin Rahm), met Susan (Teri Hatcher), who was not exactly a one-woman gay pride parade. And Edie (Nicollette Sheridan) contracted the STD named for a crustacean. The action culminated with one of the most brilliant sight gags of the year: As a waiter passed crab cakes, Edie slowly realized that her boyfriend, Carlos (Ricardo Antonio Chavira), had been sleeping with his ex-wife, Gaby (Eva Longoria Parker). And the only thing that wasn't itching was our remote control trigger finger. — Henry Goldblatt