WAYNE NEWTON AND CHERYL BURKE
Mr. Las Vegas is right at home in the god-awful costumes required for DWTS. Unfortunately, he's a truly horrible dancer. It's not even cute, like it usually is with the old guy. Honestly, it'd be less creepy if the show honored him with a wax statue standing near the judges' podium instead of engaging with the real deal, who often appears to be melting on stage.

SECRET WEAPON Shoe-polish hair dye to become a magical dance serum that gradually seeps into his skull.