''I still receive emails and messages from people discovering the show,'' says Cruz, who played primetime's first gay teenager on My So-Called Life 17 years ago, ''I have letters that I've kept. Tear-stained letters. It's as if there was this void and, finally, I was able and willing to step into it. I was happy to do it. We never received a negative word [about Rickie]. Rickie was the heart and soul of that show. He was the most spiritual person and he was the person who had the best view on sex. Period.''