The ''hiatus film'' is a long and noble TV tradition. During rerun season, many small-screen stars cash in their chips for a big-screen quickie. And we expect these movies to be terrible. Still, nothing could have prepared us for Seinfeld's George Costanza costarring with an ape. And don't give me any of that ''Eastwood did an ape movie'' nonsense. Watching this flaccid flick, you can't help experience a little ''shrinkage.''
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What the hell is he/she doing in THAT?! From Sean Connery in ''Never Say Never Again'' to Bill Murray in ''Garfield'' to Judi Dench in ''Riddick,'' the roles that make us think the attraction just had to be the paycheck