We have gathered here today to remember the life of Jonas Hodges. The Starkwood founder was a true patriot, a man of honor who valued his country and fam — sorry, I can’t do this. Dude was guano crazy. Took down two planes. Helped stage an attack on the White House. Developed a deadly bioweapon. Nearly wiped out three cities. Chucked his chairman to his death after bludgeoning him with a decanter. Even called the President a bitch behind her back! Yes, Jonas was as bad as his one-liners were good. But now he’s in a better place — or rather, many places — after being blown to bits by a car bomb. Goodbye, one of 24’s most charismatic villains. Hello, recap of episode 21.
Turn up the stereo(type) On behalf of the Distorted Voice Crew, Tony and Fake Tricia began to execute the cynical plan: Capitalize on Middle East terrorist fears and frame an innocent — Pakistani national Jibraan Al-Zarian — for an attack. While Fake Tricia doctored Jibraan’s finances and website activity, and her associates hung an Arabic banner in his apartment (this was Extremist Makeover: Muslim Edition), Tony threatened Jibraan: ”If you don’t do exactly as I say, you’re going to watch your younger brother die right in front of your eyes. And then, I’m going to kill you. However, if you cooperate, there’s a good chance* the two of you will live through this.” Choosing delayed death instead of immediate, Jibraan read Tony’s on-camera statement, which included chilling lines like: ”Our fighters will not rest until America lies crippled and dying, her streets running with blood, her people begging for mercy, but there will be none…”
Luckily, the cops arrived in time to save the day! Actually, they were just responding to a domestic disturbance call. Poor Jibraan was forced to convince the police — who mispronounced his name Jih-brain — that he’d quieted the commotion. After finishing off his death-to-America webisode, he was forced to convince his perplexed brother Hamid that he was an angry terrorist so Hamid would report him to the authorities. ”I know this is very difficult for you to understand but over time you will see,” said Jibraan in this heartbreaking moment. ”I love you, Hamid.” As he kissed his forehead, Hamid spat at him and said: ”You said today was a bad day to be a Muslim. Well, it’s an even worse day to be your brother.” Ouch.
Chloe is infected with…the truth about Jack You knew that Jack and Chloe were headed toward an awkward emotional collision when he didn’t tell her about his failing health. His odd behavior continued as she took his un-PC orders: Run a check on every Muslim in D.C.! Pull files on every political activist working in the Muslim community! Get a list of every recent immigrant from an Islamic country! Fly to the Middle East and knock on every single door! When Janis sarcastically interjected, ”Excuse me, has anybody heard of racial profiling?” Jack didn’t administer another terrifying tongue-lashing; he just softly explained his M.O. Then, talking to Chloe, he lost his train of thought. Remembering last week’s Palmer mix-up, Chloe expressed concern to Janis. ”He’s doing pretty well, considering,” offered Janis. ”Considering? Considering what?” replied clueless Chloe. Renee filled her in, and Chloe confronted Jack during his injection ritual: ”Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” ”It doesn’t matter.” ”It doesn’t matter? I’m your friend.” As he revealed his life-expectancy, she tearily delivered the mother of all pouts. ”’Chloe, it’s all right,” soothed Jack. ”I’ve accepted it — and I need you to accept it too… Whatever time I’ve got left, I want it to matter. We need to find Tony. Put an end to this.” In a rare touchy-feely act (I’d like to believe it wasn’t strategy), he took her hand: ”Chloe, I can’t do this without you. Please, I need you to go back to work.” Chloe exhaled and complied. You do not deny Gentle Jack.
NEXT: The first daughter’s big mistake