‘America’s Next Top Model’ recap: Unnatural disasters
At 8:28 p.m. ET last night, I received an email from Slezak with the subject “Marjorie.” Inside he wrote: “is like the dullest girl in your college dorm who, after 6 weeks of dullness, makes up an ‘issue’ to be interesting. But she’s still dull.”
I have to respectfully disagree. At first, I, too, laughed at the idea that her pessimism was a cultural difference, a byproduct of her Frenchness. (Or maybe, I was just chuckling at the way she described it: “Seeing all these girls with positive mantras is very foreign to me. I’m not used to it at all.”) But when Paulina backed Marjorie up — you know, after Marjorie broke down at the challenge because she hadn’t thought to pin her baggy pant legs like winner McKey — I started to take her seriously. Why? Because (1) Paulina has that kind of power over me; and (2) I actually understood what she meant when she told Sheena it wasn’t a self-esteem issue. There’s a difference between thinking you suck, and knowing that you’re good but wondering if you’re the best. The girls, particularly Sam(“Welcome to America, this is how it is”)antha, think Marjorie’s insecurities are the former when really, they’re the latter. It’s not that she doesn’t think she deserves to win this season’s ANTM, it’s that she knows others deserve it as well, so she’s preparing herself for the rejection. Marjorie referred to it as a “mild form of realism,” and I understood that concept as well. (Must be my German ancestry.) But like Paulina said, you’ve got to fake the confidence if you wanna be on top (and make it hot) in America. So the girl’s gotta woman up.
Let’s pick up the action at the challenge, shall we? Paulina told the girls that if they’re lucky enough to make it as models, they’ll spend 90 percent of their time on catalog shoots being forced to wear ill-fitting, ugly clothes. Apparently, they’ll spend the other 10 percent packing their purses with shoulder pads, Duct tape, clothespins, and empty soda and water bottles that they can use to make such clothing look good. Paulina gave them five minutes to put on their pre-packaged outfits and make themselves photo-ready with the goodies that they found in their hot pink tool belts and around the construction site. McKey, as previously mentioned, dazzled Paulina with her ability to employ clips, shoulder pads (to fill out the bust line), and a soda can (placed in the small of her back to tighten the waistline) to win 50 extra frames at the photo shoot. Sam, on the other hand, got reprimanded for altering the neckline of her shirt and the length of her shorts — which would naturally piss off a catalog customer whose purchases wouldn’t match what she saw on the page.
Moving on to this week’s photo shoot, the girls had to represent “destructive giants” causing various L.A. natural disasters. Why, when the girls simply dressed in ’60s mod fashions, Mr. Jay felt the need to make his entrance as a cross between an Orc and the Predator, I will never understand. But he did show them what total commitment is. Between this performance, and his role as Prince Couture, I do believe he’s established that he’s a far better actor than Tyra.
NEXT: Monster mash