‘America’s Next Top Model’ recap: Us versus them
I’m not sure Elina and Marjorie got the memo: They’re competing on America's Next Top Model, not Europe’s Next Top Model. Last night’s episode launched on a bus, where the remaining seven models were casually chatting about how they’re all doing in the competition. Sheena, who’s constantly vamping and was in the bottom two last week, complained that the judges don’t think she’s modelesque. But it was the deluded Euro-pair Elina and Marjorie who felt they’re unfairly taking hits at judging because of how European they are.
Hold it, wait — what? Come again? They couldn’t seriously be making that argument yet again, which seems like more of a cop-out for just not delivering. “Unless you’re from Europe or you’re European, you will not understand,” Elina said. “Just, you won’t.” But is there anything sensible that we’re supposed to get here? It may seem rather narrow-minded, but Tyra and the other judges — who are part of this American show now in its 11th cycle — aren’t gonna change their ways for you. Oh, you’re European! I didn’t realize. We really should make some modifications to the competition because of that. Um, not gonna happen. So just suck it up and deal.
All these girls have some handicap they’re trying to overcome. I totally agree with the sentiments of Samantha, who was met with venom from the pair when she said, “Yeah, but didn’t you guys move here when you were like 8 or something?” Sheena added: “You’re only an immigrant in your mind. You’re only the way you feel.” I have a feeling that sourpusses Elina and Marjorie use their Euro-crutch for anything they’re struggling with. You don’t see Joslyn complaining she’s having a hard time because she’s black (or in the case of this week, sick) or Samantha complaining that her blond hair is holding her back.
You’ll notice that when Elina won the competition — the gals had to don green spandex suits so they’d be “invisible models” on screen — she wasn’t bleating about being persecuted for being European. Maybe she got equal treatment then because the judges couldn’t see her face? Of course, Top Model is always rife with dramatic competitors, but I’m convinced that Marjorie and Elina are two of the most dramatic. Both had problems with the challenge — Elina basically hyperventilated before going on stage, while Marjorie didn’t realize her dress had fallen down. Jocelyn, in a flowy dress, continued her awkward tear by taking off her belt on stage and turning it into a necklace or “something that draped,” as she said. Why on earth would she do that? I know this challenge was also about showing versatility with accessories, but you might as well have been shimmying with a pashmina. It was distasteful.
Although I don’t think any of the gals did anything that really stood out in this competition (oh, you moved your arms around a bit — special!), I did enjoy seeing them lined up backstage in their green spandex suits. It all looked rather alienesque — and definitely more Sci Fi than CW. And the effects, with their bodies disappearing on screen, were cool, too.
NEXT: It’s acting!