And here I thought frak was only true curse word in Battlestar Galactica. But this week we caught a glimpse of another one, if only for a moment. When Starbuck gives her briefing to the assembled pilots — and, for the first time, it seems that there are more Cylons than humans in the ready room — she offers a prize to the pilot who finds a habitable rock: the last tube of Tauron toothpaste in the universe. And the name of the toothpaste? Felgercarb. Which, if you’re a fan of classic BSG, you know was their word-equivalent of bulls—.
Now, one half of ”Someone to Watch Over Me” was all kinds of awesome — both progressing the plot toward its inevitable conclusion, while deepening our understanding of the characters involved — while the other felt like so much felgercarb.
With a Six newly installed as a member of Lee’s new ship-captain-based Quorum, she explained to Roslin and the Adamas that the Cylons wanted to have Boomer extradited to the baseship. Not to rescue her from prison, but to try her in a Cylon court for treason. And, if she were found guilty — which you know she would’ve been, given that she did, yes, side with Cavil during the Cylon Civil War — she would be executed.
This didn’t sit too well with the good Chief Tyrol, who found himself rediscovering that the feelings he once had for Boomer — you know, before she went and plugged then-Commander Adama in the chest — are still there. And what’s more, she felt the same way…despite all her efforts to either forget Galen or hate him during the New Caprica debacle. If they knew then what they know now and so on….
Even though Boomer was stuck in the brig, the two got to ”consummate” their love, thanks to that handy-freaky Cylon projection thing — which I still don’t really understand, but I buy as a sort of shared illusion. (Essentially, it’s an intra-cranial Holodeck, which explains why I don’t like it; residual hate of that storytelling crutch and all.) And the illusion they share is one that Boomer created just after Cally killed her: the suburban idyll Galen and Sharon always imagined they’d have together on Picon, complete with Ikea cabinets and a preteen daughter.
It’s not a life, the existence these two would have together, but it’s better than the cold finality of death — which is exactly what’s awaiting Boomer when Roslin signs the extradition warrant, despite Tyrol’s heartfelt pleas. ”Personal feelings are what Sharon Valerii preys upon,” Roslin warns. But Tyrol doesn’t listen. And as a result the felgercarb hits the fan.
First, Galen clubs a random Eight working on refurbishing Galactica and, using one of the handy power flickers, he springs Boomer from the brig, installing the dead Eight in her place.
And Boomer moves like a woman possessed. Because, as we’ve been told since the very beginning, the Cylons have a plan. Even if the plan is a bad one, even if its frakked from the start, they always have one. And Boomer’s plan is to find Athena, knock her out, and then make off with Hera. Slutting it up with Helo is just a bonus. (But I don’t get why Helo couldn’t tell that he wasn’t sleeping with his wife. He must have a way of differentiating her, given that he’s surrounded by Eights all day. It’s gotta be like being married to an identical twin…he’d have to learn the idiosyncrasies.)
NEXT: Sing me a song, I’m the just-in-your-head piano man