Last May, when The Big Bang Theory so callously did away with Howard Wolowitz’s long-time girlfriend Bernadette – Howard mentioning they’d broken up as merely a throwaway punchline – I was incensed. I was outraged. I called shenanigans in italic type with an exclamation point. More to the point, so did many of you, and thank buh-jeebus the Big Bang writers apparently read TV recap comment boards, because Bernadette returned with a vengeance in tonight’s episode, accompanied by two sci-fi icon guest stars with an unexpectedly keen interest in managing her sex life. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
While he may have spoken of their break-up cavalierly, it was clear Howard wasn’t over Bernadette after he dove under the table when she showed up for her shift at the Cheesecake Factory – odd that it’s taken this long for the two to run into each other, since the Cheesecake Factory is apparently the only restaurant frequented by the Big Bang foursome. Anyhoo, Howard settled in for a swanky evening of self-geek-love starring his semi-regular fantasy/romantic conscience Katee Sackhoff, this time fully clothed in her Battlestar Galactica flightsuit. (Fellow BSG geeks, am I wrong, or did that flight-suit not look quite right to you? I don’t recall them being that shiny, for one thing.) (And yes, I am flying right by the eye-scalding sight of Howard in too-short silk boxer shorts, and I hope you will too.) But then Bernadette popped up, too, followed by Star Trek helmsman George Takei, entering with his trademark “Oh my!” The openly gay activist’s presence caused Sackhoff to profess confusion as to Howard’s latent homosexual tendencies, only proving that her function as a manifestation of Howard’s conscience does not extend to his relationship with Raj. Or his outrageously skin-tight wardrobe.
Howard thankfully bypassed dithering over whether this all meant he really wanted Bernadette back, and went straight to Penny for help. (He had to employ a recording of Sheldon saying her name to even get in her apartment; she hasn’t opened the door for him since discovering the teddy bear he gave her had a web-cam in it. Ha ha ew.) But Penny – who was in the middle of doing her laundry, as she’s contractually obligated at least once per episode – offered her advice and aid for a price: Fess up to why Howard and Bernadette broke up.
The answer was, in hindsight, obvious: Cyber-sex with a World of Warcraft troll named Glicinda. (Glacinda? Glycyndae? Does it matter?) But Bernadette, played with such sweet pluck by Melissa Rauch, still missed Howard, and agreed to a reunion over coffee. Yes, Bernadette was also still angry – “I was right there in the next room while you were clicking that troll’s brains out!” – but she was willing to see past Howard’s virtual indiscretion once he explained he was hard up (sorry) for some action while he waited for Bernadette to let him get to home base. Indeed, despite the fact that in the past Howard’s “joked” about just how many bases there are on Bernadette’s baseball field, apparently the lady in question believes she has just the usual four. “Howard,” she explained, “a girl doesn’t go out with a man like you with your looks, your fancy patter, and your tight hoochie pants if she’s not expecting him to eventually make the move.” Why did the show get rid of her character again?
NEXT: Raj outsmarts…Sheldon?!