”Big Brother”: Evil strikes again
For an episode there, I was willing to give Evil the benefit of the doubt. He scored some major brownie points on Sunday for conducting that surprisingly rational counseling session with Daniele about the trial of in-house love affairs — not that Daniele was actually looking for advice about whether to hook up with Nick at the expense of her relationship back home. Please tell me you all caught the unplugged version of the Evil and Dani show Monday night on BB: After Dark: Dani blubbering on about how she wasn’t really coming to Evil for advice because he doesn’t understand her anyway, and a tearful Evil begging for forgiveness and insisting that he’s trying, he’s reaaalllly trying. Good Lord, if this isn’t the wettest BB on record. Has anyone not bawled on this show? Pretty sure Zach hasn’t, though he may shed a tear any minute now after realizing that he’s not even good enough to make Nick’s top 30.
Ah, but I digress. It took all of two days for me to snap out of it and see Evil for what he really is: a self-righteous bully. Ripping Kail and Jen to pieces just because one formed an alliance and both campaigned against him isn’t good strategy; it’s just about ripping them to pieces. What exactly did Kail do wrong when she made that early deal with Zach, Mike, and Nick? Isn’t that, like, what everybody has done in the history of reality shows — seek out early alliances? Granted, Kail was begging for the boot last night; her homophobic comment about not knowing how to spot gay guys ”unless they are wearing full makeup” was both ugly and unconscionable — but there was nothing wrong or unfair about her decision to team up early. Why Evil would have it out for Kail so swiftly — especially when Jen seemed to piss him off more for not wanting his dirty, stinkin’ hands all over her during that early food challenge — is completely beyond me, though I have a theory: Behind all that tattooed bluster is an insecure guy who feels incredibly left out when people strategize without him, an anxious feeling that’s no doubt fueled by the fact that he’s stuck in a place where he’s not only the oldest but he’s having to play with a daughter who hates him. So how does he compensate? By attacking!
Though, whoo-boy did I get whiplash seeing Evil abruptly give up on Kail so he could target Mike, who’s only crime was standing up to Evil during that awkward nail-biter of a POV challenge on Tuesday. I’m sure most of you, like me, thought it was pretty damn stupid of Mike to directly defy Evil — though I still kind of respected him for doing it. Up until that point, I was so tired of listening to Evil boss everybody around, it was rather refreshing to see someone like the mild-mannered Mike throw it back in his face — even if it was a suicidal move. I actually thought Mike would be safe in spite of his action, until Dick managed to convince his floater peeps that Mike, not Kail, was the one who should go. Why? Just because he has an inordinate amount of freckles? Because he’s only said, like, four words since July 7? If the HGs followed those marching orders, then Jessica should have been out weeks ago, followed closely by Jameka and then Dustin (who, I’m convinced, only brought two shirts to the house because he only seems to wear that grey V-neck every other day). Why are these people still listening to Dick???
Geez, so many other things to comment on about last night’s episode and so little space to do it in without this column turning into one of Doc Jensen’s 2,000 word manifestos: Jameka sucking up to CBS by saying how the network did a good job of attracting a variety of ”personalities” (you mean goofy white kids, right, Jameka?) and the unbelievable sight of Dani putting food in her mouth and Evil cuttin’ the cheese in his bathroom. And then how about Evil getting right back on the horse at episode’s end by hammering Jen for voting to evict Mike, not Kail? Give it a rest, Artie McAngry!! I also have to say I was a little surprised when Julie introduced the video package about Jen by saying how she’s been called a ”vain, robotic bitch.” I’ve come to expect those kind of knee-jerk sexist comments from the players, but it a little jarring when you hear it repeated by the female host. The Chenbot is on a roll this year; I’ve truly enjoyed her impromptu Q&As with the HGs before the eviction votes and I’ve realized that she’s not nearly as hungry-looking as I thought — but I wish she’d exercise her power more by occasionally editing the script. Just a thought — one I’m sure you’ll hammer me on.
As for Dani’s boytoy Kris: Gee, I feel sorry for that poor lug. It’s not enough that he has to see this grade-A hunk drool all over his girlfriend; then he has to hear Evil ridicule him on national TV about being half the dude Nick is. Still, Kris has got his head in the clouds if he thinks he can trust Dani (and from what I hear, he voices his displeasure almost daily by tearfully calling CBS. Pitiful!).
Finally, the new HOH. Eh…doesn’t particularly excite me, though I do happen to like Dustin. I just wish I heard more from him (and Amber, and Jessica, and Jameka) but the BB cameras are too busy chronicling the drama in the rest of the house between Evil and his latest victim. I’m starting to think there’s not much more to say about these floaters — my, they’re getting kind of boring, aren’t they? — but I’m willing to keep an open mind. So Dustin? Now’s your chance, tiger. Thrill us with your extraordinary show of strategy. Do something drastic. Don’t act like Evil’s bitch (Julie? Forget what I just said about the b-word) and make predictable nominations like Jen and Kail. How about trying to break up the father/daughter bond for good?
So what do you think? I really appreciate and enjoy your daily thoughts — and I, for one, don’t mind the constant updates posted here. Anyone who waits for the thrice-weekly episode to find out what’s happening is living in the dark ages! Did you think Mike deserved to go more than Kail? Who do you think Dustin will nominate? Do you still like Evil? Really? Are you sure? Maybe you should take some more time to really think about your answer.
Okay, time’s up. Do you still like him now?