The Reign of Empress Amanda the First officially entered its decadent period last night when she preemptively declared war on anyone and everyone. “If I see anyone talking to Elissa, they’re my target,” she announced from her thronebed-in-exile, located in the most disgusting bedroom in the house. Her concubine McCrae lounged thoughtfully in his bed. Her trusted Vizier Andy paced around the room, not wanting to say anything for fear of inciting his mistress’ wrath. Spencer the Court Jester amused everyone with his beard. “Everyone is hiding in my shadow,” she said. “Why do I have to be the bully?” she asked, bullyishly.
It had been an ugly couple of hours. After the veto ceremony, Amanda wouldn’t leave Elissa alone. “What are you eating?” she asked. “What exactly have you done to your face?” she continued. “How many doctors worked on that face?” She had developed a full-blown obsession with destroying Elissa; when Spencer tried to calm her down, she claimed that Elissa had insulted him behind his back. “She called you disgusting,” she said. “I am disgusting!” Spencer laughed.
The house was not happy. There has been a long slow boil of resentment forming against Empress Amanda, and on last night’s episode, all that tension finally mobilized the remaining non-McCramda housemates into action. GM said, “I think Amanda is psychotic.” Spencer noted that Amanda and McCrae had been running things for too long. Together with the resurrected Judd and the suddenly-motivated Andy, they formed a new alliance. “We’ll call ourselves the Exterminators,” said Judd. “Getting rid of rats and snakes. But not frogs.”
This development is interesting because, at this point in the game, this is an alliance with a uniquely hyper-specific mission: Get McCrae and Amanda out of the house. It’s kind of like watching the citizens of the Island of Misfit Toys assemble in a last-ditch attempt to assassinate Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny – which is to say, it’s probably doomed to failure. Spencer has spent the summer doing nothing; GM, despite being an HoH, has arguably done less than nothing; Andy is a balloon floating along behind McCrae and Amanda; Judd just loves frogs. They’re the Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight, and the last hope for the cause of liberty inside of the Big Brother house.
Inside the house, Amanda was cutting one of her most loyal partisans loose. She told Aaryn, bluntly, Andy had been with McCramda for longer than Aaryn. Aaryn cried; Amanda cried, too. Then Aaryn jumped into action. She talked to Spencer and Judd and asked them what they needed from her; she told them about the 3AM alliance, and assured them that Andy was loyal to McCrae and Amanda. This was a smart tactic; unfortunately, she immediately played the exact opposite tactic with McCrae and Amanda, claiming that Spencer was preaching anti-Amanda vitriol.
The long weeks in power have made Amanda shockingly brazen in her gameplay. When Aaryn told her this, she called Spencer over and told him exactly what Aaryn was saying. Spencer said that was a lie; Aaryn said he was lying, and insulted him; Spencer insulted her right back. Now, Aaryn has a few personality problems: the racism; the homophobia; the immediate aggressive disregard for anyone who did not treat her like the prettiest princess in a castle made of gold; the utter inability to take responsibility for herself and for her actions, which led her to waste four separate HoHs on petty vendettas or on targets that her puppetmasters wanted gone; the human sacrifices; that time she canceled Deadwood. But Aaryn’s main problem has always been social: At a certain base level, nobody inside of the Big Brother house really ever seemed to trust her.
NEXT: Watch out for those love-clouds!