(To be sung in the tune of “Oh, Danny Boy”)
Oh Donny boy, the votes, the votes are coming
For you’re alone, with no one on your side
The summer’s gone, and your social game is dying
It’s you, it’s you must go and I must bide.
When Donny first entered the Big Brother house this summer, he stood out. Nearly a decade older than the next closest person to his age (Jacosta), Donny had a beard and game play that were one of a kind to say the least. Now with only eight players left in the game (again), the grounds keeper is really beginning to stick out like a sore green thumb.
Donny was happy that Nicole won the jury competition to get back in the game because now he at least has someone to talk to, and by “talk to” he means someone to desperately try and cling onto for survival. He does this by telling Nicole that he knows Christine threw the last Battle of the Block after the whole Skittles nomination incident and then starts throwing some shade (or at least the Donny version of shade) on everyone in the house. “She doesn’t even know she’s here” he says referring to Victoria who is literally standing right next to them in the kitchen the whole time listening to their conversation. Oops. And now Victoria just told everyone that you’re going after them Donny. Before things get too out of hand though, someone needs to take that nail file away from Nicole first.
The Bomb Detonator Squad Men (or whatever they’re called these days) had a little meeting to confirm that Donny and Nicole were still the clear targets for what should be an “easy week” in the house. They also made a “No Closed Doors with Nicole” policy, a.k.a. don’t give her hope. (Separate policy proposal: “No More #BeastMode[Insert bizarre occupation] Moments”—Caleb’s ego needs to be stopped somewhere.)
The whole two HOH/four nominees/Battle of the Block twist this summer was fun while it lasted but now it’s time to play Big Brother. The first solo HOH competition was a boxing-themed game making the houseguests recall the specific days that certain events happened in the house. Here’s what we quickly learned: Nicole is really bad with numbers and no one remembers
Alex Joey. The final round featured Cody and Donny punching it out, not an ideal situation for The Bomb Squad but sure great for TV!
And now presenting tonight’s match: In the pink corner we have Cody hailing from the gardens of Howell, New Jersey. Not just a “dumb kid,” this soccer player has a business degree in Italian…. Italian Stallion that is! And in the green corner we have the small town North Carolinian mule Donny ready to make a big move with his big beard or else be knocked out!
The Italian Stallion from Jersey came through though and Cody won. Caleb, you can put him down now. #BeastModeAerialist
NEXT: Congratulations, scoundrel!