Hmmm, the first episode where Blonde Journalist Girlfriend doesn’t appear – and is barely even mentioned, in fact – turns out to be the best of the season so far. Just a coincidence? Correlation does not imply causality, my little scientists. Just ask our friend, Dr. Bunsen Jude, The Science Dude. He’s basically Bill Nye the Science Guy, except his show still exists in 2010 and he looks like David Alan Grier.
Last night’s hour got off to a frothy beginning after a prodigiously prolonged prologue involving a hot freegan date. (For the uninitiatied: hippies are to freegans what your average Catholic is to a self-flagellating albino monk.) This led into a bit of sparkling repartee – hooray, the repartee’s back! – as Bones assured Booth that A) She had planned the perfect murder, and B) If/when she commits it, he will not be able to catch her. She couldn’t share the secret with him, though, since Booth is smooching a journalist. And you know how men get post-coitus: “Hey, honey, wanna hear something funny my partner told me at work today?” Am I right, ladies?
In the great canon of disgusting Bones corpses, I’d rank this one in the top ten. All the team managed to find in the dumpster were limbs and a badly decomposed skull. Cue a proud vom session from visiting celebrity scientist, Dr. Dude. He’s on a TV show, Cam explained. “His own science show! About science!” When Dr. Dude appeared, I was anxious, and I began to flop-sweat, because I haven’t found David Alan Grier funny in 16 years.
But then we got to the meaty subplot of the episode – Dr. Dude’s attempt to prove himself to Dr. Brennan – and from there I was hooked. You have to love how many different ways Grier managed to say “Amazing” over the course of the episode. And “Observe, analyze, deduce!” is my new motto of the week. (Also, Dr. Dude explains scientific concepts by showing a cartoon of Captain Speedy falling off a cliff.) Maybe I just liked the character so much because of Hodgins, who played a game in college where every time The Science Dude said “Amazing,” him and his buddies would take a shot. From now on, I’m going to do the same whenever Hodgins says “Particulates,” Angela says “Honey,” or anyone is dismissive of Sweets. (As a result, future Bones recaps on EW.com are either going to get incredible or, more likely, illegible, or perhaps be written by someone other than yours truly.)
The central mystery was surprisingly twisted, considering how dull it was. Let’s see, the dead guy was a bounty hunter chasing after Mr. Braverman, and Mr. Braverman’s wife was psychologically dependent on him, and there was a lady bounty hunter who flirted her way out of Booth’s handcuffs, and also a bail bondsman had terminal cancer. Of all these characters, only the bail bondsman really connected, and he had an awesome line: “I believe in God, and I would like to make a good impression when I stand before him.” The lady bounty hunter seemed like a vivaciously teasing character, before she suddenly turned into some weird combination of a 24 villain and an SVU psycho.
NEXT: Axes are hurled! Potato bazookas are built!