We interrupt your death metal to bring you this heavy recap. The good news is, if you’re reading this, you’re the coolest people in the world. The bad news is that after reading this you’ll have to wait a whole week for a new episode of Community. But I don’t care. I live in New York.
It was Halloween night and Greendale’s infamously remedial study group congregated to celebrate all things spooky and ooky at Dean Pelton’s Halloween Scaretacular dance. The lights were rigged to flicker (and set to do so throughout All Saints Month), party favors of taco shells and Trix were ready for the eating, the rubber spiders were all in place, and a playlist of Spooky Party, the Beetlejuice soundtrack, and a killer NPR interview of Errol Morris by Michele Norris was playing on a loop. Troy and Abed were in their totally non-Halloween-related Inspector Spacetime finery, while Jeff was dressed as some random dude from the Fast and the Furious franchise, even though he doesn’t watch that “shallow crap.” This year there was no chance of a zombie outbreak, even if the Dean was again serving taco meat from the Army. No invasion from City College’s stormtroopers. No fracture in the space-time continuum. All was well. Right?
Wrong! Overzealous psych major Britta discovered while processing the results of the anonymous mental-health tests she’d administered to the group that someone among them is borderline psychotic. Check that. Has major homicidal tendencies! Who could it be? We already know Abed has some undiagnosable personality disorder. Annie’s pill-popping history suggests murky crevices in her otherwise sunshine-and-lollipops soul. Pierce may literally have skeletons buried, for all we know. Shirley’s proclivity for demon rum isn’t a good sign. Troy’s obsession with Kickpuncher and not-a-boy-not-yet-a-man insecurity issues are surely a recipe for latent mania. And Jeff’s shameless hipsterism has “sociopath” written all over it. He was also the one to first suggest that Britta had “Britta-ed” the test results. Suspicious! Yes, Webster’s, take note. To Britta now means “to make a small mistake.”
To further test her friends’ mental health, Britta suggested that they tell each other scary stories at their pre-party. She started.
Story 1: “Once upon a time there was a couple in a car in the woods making out or something.”
So began Britta’s tale. Yes, she imagined herself and Jeff as the couple making out in the woods. Britta’s spooky-story avatar heard something go bump in the woods. “It’s just the sound of my heart, baby,” Jeff said. Then the radio blasted, “An escaped convict from the asylum has escaped, and he’s mental, and he’s on the loose and stuff.” Remember, Britta’s telling this story. “He was last seen in the woods and has a thingy for a hand, a hook-thing where his hand should be, you know what I mean.” So Jeff exited the car to investigate and was immediately stabbed in the chest by the hook of the aforementioned escaped convict. Everybody could see what was going to happen except for Jeff. It’s like Don’t Look Now but without a dwarf.
Key Line: “I’m sure it’s no biggie, but I am a horny man, so I’m only half present.” –Jeff, as imagined by Britta
NEXT: Abed enjoys Muzak and the subtle moistness of Britta’s lips. Also, vampirism is revealed once and for all to be nothing more than a metaphor for sex.