Tanner Stransky
January 05, 2009 AT 05:28 PM EST

Greetings, Desperate Housewives TV Watchers! How does it feel to be back watching the trials and tribulations of Wisteria Lane after nearly a month of nothing? Did you miss the creepiness of Dave Williams? The ridiculous, neurotic tendencies of Bree Hodge? The obsessive, at-all-costs mothering of Lynette Scavo? The annoyingness of Susan Mayer? The need-for-couture of Gabby Solis? I know I surely had a void in my holidaying without Desperate. But, like a surprising holiday present that was just a tad late, last night’s new episode delivered all those goods and more. Maybe distance (or four weeks off!) makes the heart grow fonder, but I found myself happy to be back with the Desperate ladies. So let’s get to it.

Bree’s story line — the one about her gay son, Andrew, marrying his doctor boyfriend Alex — launched the evening. Clearly she’s over the surprise about his new fiancé, and more than ready to embrace them as a couple. So what’s the newest wrench for Bree in regards to her son? Her disapproval of the future in-laws, of course! Or, rather, her total disgust with Alex’s white-trash mother, Melina, who had come for a visit. Truly, Bree and Melina couldn’t be more different. For instance, we saw Bree ironing tablecloths; meanwhile, Melina was found drinking beers on the front porch. I died laughing when the pair first met, and Bree apologized to Melina about her losing her job. Melina’s response: “You know what they say: In a bad economy, the mature cocktail waitress is the first to go.” Bree, with her usual plastic smile in place, responded with a polite, “Really, they say that?” Sometimes I wish Bree would have a sense of humor about these kinds of things, but I think her inability to handle the situation at all might be even funnier. But, as Orson told her while he was advising Bree to figure out a way to be nice to Melina: “No one is better at plastering on a fake smile and pretending to like someone than Bree Hodge.” That’s so true and so made me smile.

I think Bree was prepared to just handle all Melina’s foibles — her need to constantly “call” holidays and whatnot — until the trashy lady began insisting that the boys buy a house near her after they get married. Am I the only one who finds Bree’s ferocious reaction just a tad weird…for her, at least? I mean, yes, Bree is a protective mother who’s basically already lost one daughter and a surrogate son. So she’s got reason to want to keep her kids close, I suppose. But she cares so much whether or not Andrew stays near? Until recently, she wasn’t much interested in his life at all. But I suppose people change. And, more than anything, I suppose it was the thought of Alex and Andrew raising their kids near the beer swilling broad that had Bree the most ruffled. Honestly, what’s wrong if her grandkids enjoy making moonshine in the backyard once in a while? Sounds like a very Desperate-type story line to me.

NEXT: Lynette, Grannie’s got your son

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