If Bree Van de Kamp were to give a victory speech thanking those who helped her prevail over cougar-y new neighbor Renee Perry in the fight for the affection of Wisteria Lane’s current hottie, ab-licious contractor Keith, part of it might go a little something like this: “Of course, I wouldn’t be here without the help of the little people. No, really—an actual little person helped me to this glorious winner’s circle today.” Yes, folks, it happened: Last night, the always-ridiculous storylines of Desperate Housewives crossed over into the territory of midget exploitation.
Alright, so no actual little people were oppressed in the making of last night’s episode (as far as we know!), but Bree did employ one such height-challenged person—a friend she’d met at church, of all places—to help make Renee look crazy during a date with Keith. Although we didn’t exactly get the full story, apparently Renee is terrified of little people because of a childhood incident at the circus. So when Bree’s pint-sized helper showed up unannounced at Renee and Keith’s dinner, Wisteria Lane’s newest housewife went nuts, clawing to get away from the man and acting a complete fool in front of Keith in the process.
Natch, the whole thing was just payback for Renee’s earlier sabotage, which saw her fly in Bree’s daughter—and grandson, who kept repeatedly calling Bree “grandma”—in an attempt to make our fiery-haired friend look ancient right before her own date with the youthful Keith. In the end, though, the advantage resoundingly went to The Lady Van de Kamp.
In fact, Renee conceded the war over Keith based solely on Bree’s genius stunt. You might say that, um, the little man played a big role. “Based on my dinner under the rainbow last night,” Renee said, making a reference to the fearsome munchkins of The Wizard of Oz, “I’d rather have you as a friend than an enemy.” Smart move, lady. Despite the brilliance of Bree and Renee being at odds, this white flag is a good thing: Seeing the pair work their cunning magic together might be ever better than seeing them constantly at each other’s throats.
Still, we all know that Vanessa Williams is best when her characters possess a little nasty edge. So my question at this juncture is: Which housewife is Renee going to terrorize starting next week? Because you just know her sassy self will be up in someone else’s grill before long. She’s already messed with Lynette and Bree, so Gaby, Susan, Karen and Beth, you’re on notice.
Elsewhere on Wisteria Lane, Gaby and Carlos dealt with the continued fallout from the baby switch eight years ago that gave their biological daughter to another family. Early in the episode, the storyline painted Gaby as heartbroken about the whole situation, as she looked forlorn while en route to meeting her biological daughter’s parents.
NEXT: Does Felicity Huffman deserve to get back in Emmy’s good graces?