Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it. Want a golden crown? Want to capture the The Imp and put him on trial? Sure, but you might not like how things turn out. But I sure loved how Episode 6, “A Golden Crown,” turned out. We got a trial that blended Court TV with Spartacus, saw Tyrion putting his famed wit to use, saw an ambush in the woods and, most shockingly, the death of a character who, yeah, had it coming, but I’m not sure anybody deserves that.
Let’s recap: Ned groggily awakes to see King Robert and Queen Cersei. It feels like when you’ve done something really bad as a kid and your parents are standing over your bed. Except if you sass-talk these two, they’ll put your head on a spike.
“Lord Stark was returning drunk from a brothel, when his men attacked Jaime,” Cersei accuses, which is the most unconvincing lie ever. Ned is more likely to build a Kings Landing waterslide park then get drunk with the lads and start fights.
“Catelyn will release Tyrion and you’ll make your peace with Jaime,” bellows The King of Avoiding Conflict.
“He’s attacked one of my brothers and abducted the other,” Cersei shoots back. “I should wear the armor and you the gown.”
Whoa-whoa-whoa, just because plumb King Robert looks like he’s with child doesn’t mean you can put him in a corner. He slaps her. Ned looks displeased by Robert hitting his enemy, because that’s how honorable he is.
“That was not kingly,” Robert admits later, as if he’s normally regal and composed instead of drunkenly going after prostitutes with blackberry jam. “I don’t know what happened between you and those yellow-haired sh–s and i don’t want to know. I can’t rule the kingdoms if the Starks and the Lannisters are at each others’ throats.”
Robert orders Ned to send an r-mail to his wife telling her to release Tyrion and gives him his job back as Hand of the King. Robert has also seemingly found a way to avoid all this high-stakes fighting between two powerful families all together by announcing he’s leaving the city and going on a hunt.
Across the Narrow Sea: Dany has finally stopped staring at those dragon eggs during sex and picked one up. All right. Now what? Remember that story the slave girl told her about how there was once two moons and one drifted too close to the sun and it burst open and all the dragons flew out? Yeah, it’s silly, everybody knows the moon is really full of possums. But Dany must be thinking of that because she takes one of the eggs and puts it on her in-tent grill, which must be handy for when you wake in the middle of the night and have a craving for some BBQ horse ribs.
The thing sits there. It sounds like she was tricked and given a shell full of Rice Krispies. Then again, maybe Dany isn’t trying to hatch anything. Maybe she just got a random preggo-craving for some poached dragon egg.
She reaches to get her dinner just as the slave girl comes in and they both end up touching the hot egg but the Khalessi is not burned. Hmm…
NEXT: Dany wins this week’s gross food immunity challenge. Want to know what she’s playing for?