Livin’ la GLEEda loca! Okay, now that we have that out of the way, let’s proceed unencumbered.
Last night was the Ricky Martin episode of Glee! Much like Gwyneth, Martin played a vivacious Spanish teacher who swooped into the drab daily grind at McKinley to show up Will Schuester at his own gig. And just like Ms. Paltrow, it seems that Martin will become a recurring character on the show.
Those similarities aside, the threat facing Schuester in this episode had much larger implications: Just when he was hoping to snag a recently opened tenured spot at McKinley, an anonymous complaint threatened to expose his (apparently mediocre) Spanish-teaching skills.
Enter Ricky Martin as David Martinez, a night school Spanish teacher at McKinley. Realizing he needed to brush up on his skills, Will showed up at to Martinez’s Spanish 101 course. Sure, it would have made more sense for Schu to seek a refresher course from a nearby community college instead of a remedial night class, but hey, this way they didn’t have to build a new set.
In Martinez’s night class we learned that Mr. Schu doesn’t know some very basic Spanish words, which doesn’t seem to gel with the passionate Will Schuester I remember from season 1 (but why ask for consistency?). We also got Martinez’s backstory: He’s an Ohio-born son of illegal immigrants and he’s spent most of his life as a tooth model (nice touch) but eventually he decided dental perfection was hollow compared to the lasting contribution of teachers. (Question: With John Stamos cast as a dentist, what’s up with Glee’s fixation on teeth? Do people in L.A. think Middle America works entirely in dental-related fields?)
In Sue’s corner, things are getting weirder each week. This episode found her dead-set on becoming a mother (fair enough) and intent on conceiving her own child with the man-juice of someone at McKinley High. In a scene that I’m still trying to wrap my head around, she tried to convince the dudes of New Directions to start donating sperm, which I have to imagine didn’t help her bid for tenure.
After sexually harassing those boys, Sue dropped a bomb on Will: She wanted his Schuester juicester to conceive her child. If two years ago someone told me this would be a Glee subplot in the show’s future, I wouldn’t have believed it. Well, here we are. Later on, Sue explained to Emma why she wanted the child of a man she hates, but even Jane Lynch’s adept performance couldn’t erase the weirdness of the scenario.
Back to a normal plot line, Will made the big mistake of inviting Mr. Martinez to a glee club meeting. Schu seemed to think it would up his Spanish-language cred, but instead the comparison just made clear to everyone how superior Martinez is — as a hottie, a Spanish-speaker, a tooth model, and even as man-crush for Artie.
Will’s chances were looking grim for tenure and so were Sue’s — she had also received a complaint from the student body (It turned out to be from Becky, oddly enough, and not one of the five teen boys she had urged to jerk off into a cup). Smelling blood, Coach Roz (NeNe Leakes, who continues to impress) made her bid to take over the Cheerios.
NEXT: Schu’s bizarre matador dance and Mercedes, the two-timing ho