Glee is a show that thinks it’s fly, but sometimes the plots strain even the show’s own unique world and logic. Last night – the return for the show after a mini-hiatus – was one of those times. The episode ostensibly revolved around a Tina-created Sadie Hawkins dance, but I found myself much more concerned with just about everything but the actual dance. Let’s work through some feelings together, shall we?
At a meeting of the (probably Tina-created) Too Young To Be Bitter Club, Tina decided she wanted to put on a dance. They voted at the student council, and it’s happening. Great! Finn – after a talk with Beiste – even decided to turn the dance-asking into the Glee club lesson of the week. Even better! What could possibly go wrong?
Everything, it turns out. Tina – empowered with more screentime than she’s had all season – kicked things off by singing her walking valentine to….BLAINE! While performing a perfectly lovely version of “I Don’t Know How To Love Him,” we got some flashbacks of Blaine being just so darn charming (If goofing around in the lunch line is our standard?) that Tina just flat-out decided to ignore the fact that he’d been in a relationship with Kurt – a guy – for the past year. Listen, Tina, I did a lot of theater in high school. I get it. But you broke the first rule of Glee club. You can go to dances with gay guys. You cannot act on crushes on men who are into men. Tina didn’t follow the rules, which made Blaine stuck in the crazy-uncomfortable situation of being publicly asked out. He shut her down, because Tina’s life is the worst.
Blaine and Tina talked, Tina stared at Blaine’s jean-clad butt for a bit, and Blaine confided he couldn’t go to the dance with her because he had a crush on Sam. Dun dun dunnn! McKinley High School kids’ hormones were out of control last night. But Tina had a plan: “We’ll go the dance as friends,” she offered, clearly not planning on keeping the “as friends” part of that sentence true. She pitched the idea as “You need some place to put your love, right?” but it was really just Tina getting exactly what she wanted under the guise of being helpful. Work it, girl! Actually, on second thought, don’t. This absolutely will not be ending well for anyone.
NEXT: Trouble, trouble everywhere