It’s twists and turns, snakes and ladders, and cats and… actually, forget that last one…on Graceland this week. Baby mama drama, Oxycodone lycanthropy eyes, and soapy crimelords are our watchwords. Let’s go!
Mike and his floppy season 3 bangs are a-snoozin’ on the couch when he’s rudely awakened by Jakes, who wants to know if Mike can tie a bow tie. Why is the gang getting gussied up, you ask. Well, Paige is receiving an award from the Attorney General for her work on the Lina case, despite contributing to Mike’s “murder” at the conclusion. On Graceland, you can be a civic hero and a coldblooded killer.
Johnny, who certainly can tie a bow tie, is nowhere to be found. He didn’t come home the previous evening. He was too busy acting as Serpent Sid’s Uber driver. Briggs enters looking slick in his suit (I don’t think it’s possible for Daniel Sunjata to not look slick. He’d probably even make ugly-crying look suave, somehow.) While Briggs verbally jousts with Jakes, Mike pops some painkillers in one of the show’s least subtle story lines.
It turns out Johnny is meeting with Sid at church. The priest is one of those on-screen stereotypical pastors, this one letting bad guys beneath the church, which doubles as the first stop on the underground fugitive railroad to Mexico. They must have some interesting bake sales at that church. A wardrobe in the room has a secret door and surprise. No it’s not Mr. Tumnus and a lamppost on the other side. It’s a creepy tunnel to Mexico!
At the award ceremony, Briggs is swapping a pistol for cash in the men’s room while Paige is giving a brief acceptance speech that not everyone is a fan of. “Well, if it isn’t our exceptional hero,” Charlie snipes at her. Charlie is definitely the mom of the Graceland-ers because only a mom would ignore your achievement and instead be snippy about your acceptance speech. Paige is blase about her award, and Jakes (who managed to tie his bow tie) notes that not every DEA agent rescues a bunch of girls from sex slavery. Charlie tries to inspire Paige with the rallying cry of “bitches get shit done.” Not the most feminist-sounding (or classy) motto, but it does result in a callback and a hug from Paige. Mike mopes over and asks her if they can talk. Aaaand, nope!
Charlie then receives a call from Interpol, and they have exactly squat on Germaine. Briggs thinks they should offer Amber a deal, but Charlie and her unborn baby aren’t feeling that. Amber almost caused a miscarriage through that directed beating. Briggs knows that the baby is his, right? Shouldn’t he be a little more concerned with protecting and avenging his impending child? Dude is TOO laid back sometimes.
NEXT: Why does Mike have werewolf eyes?