Ugh, car seats are such a drag — according to Grandpa Jimmy anyway. The fifth episode of Grandfathered opens with Annelise and Ravi trying to convince their boss that his grandchild should not be riding shotgun in his luxury convertible. But alas, Jimmy is Jimmy.
“Six of the finest cows in Italy died for this leather,” he says. “I will not let a child’s car seat make a mockery of their sacrifice.”
He fist-bumps his 2-year-old granddaughter, makes sure her shades are in place, and rolls off with her looking adorable, albeit extremely unsafe, in his passenger seat. Not surprisingly, he doesn’t even make it to Sara’s before getting ticketed.
When he does eventually arrive at Sara’s to drop Edie off (with a dirty diaper, because obviously that’s someone else’s job), Gerald calls him to announce that he and Vanessa are having car troubles, and could Jimmy please take Edie to an open house at an elite preschool? Jimmy is skeptical at first, but his interest is piqued when he hears that this has been rated the no. 1 preschool in L.A. It’s got a robotics program, a ballet program, and a meteorology center, and since Jimmy is an expert in all things elite — well, why not? He agrees.
The preschool visit begins with Jimmy meeting an attractive redhead named Sloane (JoAnna Garcia Swisher). Sloane, as it so happens, works in the admissions office of the school, and so Jimmy introduces himself as Edie’s father. Sloane offers to give them a tour of the school, which has “revolutionary pathways of the mind curriculum.” She then informs Jimmy that Edie is competing with 1,000 other toddlers for only 20 open slots. Oof.
“I didn’t even know there were 1,000 2-year-olds,” Jimmy says. “Yuck.”
When Gerald arrives and introduces himself as Edie’s dad, things get a little twisted. He finds Edie and Jimmy and realizes what his father has done when Sloane pronounces them an “adorable couple.” The horror registers on Gerald’s face when he realizes that, somehow, he is now playing the role of his father’s boyfriend.
“Newsflash: It’s 2015. Being gay isn’t creepy, it’s cool,” Jimmy says in an effort to convince his son that, really, it’s fine. Gerald isn’t convinced — “Being gay with your dad is creepy” — but then Jimmy tells him about Edie’s slim chances of getting in.
And then Sloane reveals that Edie has a better chance of getting in with gay parents, because the school is looking for diversity. She agrees to get the head of the school to do an at-home interview. Suddenly, Gerald has a boyfriend, and his name is Jimmy.
Gerald and Jimmy meet with Annelise at Jimmy’s place to turn the bachelor pad into a family home — where he lives with his boyfriend/son. Annelise has even made fake family photos. (Is there anything this woman can’t do?) Jimmy’s place is baby-proofed. Toys replace liquor bottles and crumbs are strewn across the floor as Jimmy cringes. The two wrap up their evening with a dinner to get the details of their lie straight.
Later in the evening, Jimmy heads to work, where he discovers that Sloane is waiting for him. Jimmy asks her to have a drink, and predictably, one thing leads to another. He kisses Sloane and realizes immediately what he’s done. “I’m a terrible boyfriend,” he says unconvincingly. End scene.
The next day, Jimmy is nervous as the preschool people come to his house. The head of the school arrives with a suspicious Sloane in tow. She’s determined to catch Jimmy in a lie; thanks to that kiss, this interview is now much more stressful.
Sara, meanwhile, is trying to prove that Edie doesn’t need to go to an elitist institution, so she checks out Gerald’s old preschool — open fires, cinderblocks, free range chickens, and all. There’s an abandoned refrigerator they call “the magic box.” Did she really let her son go here? Suddenly, she’s all aboard the elitist private preschool train.
Back at Jimmy’s, Sloane grills Gerald and Jimmy about their relationship. As the head of the preschool is wrapping up his interview, Sloane bursts out with the revelation that Jimmy kissed her. To make matters worse, Gerald accidentally refers to Jimmy as “Dad” when he gets angry about the kiss.
The head of the school is appalled and tells them pretending to be a gay couple to get their daughter into a good school is vile and offensive. Edie can kiss one of those 20 slots goodbye. Gerald is not too mad, considering everything he’s just put himself through — at least they’ll have a story for the rest of their lives. He suggests that Edie just go to his old preschool. Sara quickly vetoes that. (“It’s not an option. She died.”)
So where is Edie going to school then? Have no fear — it turns out Jimmy has gone through a book of the best preschools to find the right fit for Edie. Sara and Gerald are appropriately touched.
The episode ends with Jimmy smiling lovingly at a doctored picture of the day Edie was born. Grandpa is clearly coming around.