Kelsey McNeal/ABC
Samantha Highfill
March 28, 2014 AT 02:30 AM EDT

Going into this episode knowing that it was all about Cristina and Owen, I was already excited, but whatever that was that just happened on my screen blew my mind (and also made me more fearful than ever). Before I get into my fears, I have to say that was an amazing episode of Grey’s Anatomy. It reminded me of just how good this show can be, and particularly how good Sandra Oh and Kevin McKidd can be. Of course, that only made me sad considering Sandra Oh’s inevitable departure, but we’ll get to those feelings at the end of all this. First, let’s dig in!

We started with a Cristina voiceover: “Do you know who you are? Do you know what’s happened to you? Do you want to live this way? All it takes is one person, one patient, one moment to change your life forever. It can change your perspective, color your thinking. One moment that forces you to reevaluate everything you think you know. Do you know who you are? Do you know what’s happened to you? Do you want to live this way?” Perfectly Grey’s-esque, opening, amirite?

After a montage of epic Crowen moments, from the vent to their first kiss, their wedding day and so on, we were in the OR with Cristina and Shane. Cristina was doing the impossible — repairing a patient’s Black Mamba, a.k.a. the single trickiest vessel in the human body. Some people say it’s impossible to repair, but Cristina danced her way through it. Why? Because she’s awesome. The bad news, however, was that the patient, who’d been in a car accident, was still paralyzed from the neck down.

The next step was Cristina delivering the news to the wife of Jason, her patient. The wife immediately asked that they wake up her husband so that he could decide whether he wanted to live like that. But as the wife spoke about knowing her husband, knowing his every move and what he’d order for dinner, Cristina looked at Owen. In a funk, she went to the lounge, where Alex and Meredith were talking about Jo’s reluctance to get married. Alex was fine waiting, but he wasn’t sure if she ever wanted to get married. Cristina, however, tuned it all out, no matter how applicable it might’ve been to her, particularly Mer’s sentence about “You’re together, why does it matter?”

Back by Jason’s side, Cristina asked him if he knew who he was. She told him about the accident, and she asked if he wanted to be taken off the vent that was breathing for him. He said yes. Cue Crowen life scenario number one!

In this alternate reality, Cristina saw Owen at the elevator just as she left Jason’s room. She was still in a daze, which is why she didn’t notice when Jackson got his hand smashed in the door. She walked right up to Owen and asked him, “What the hell are we doing?!” She spent the day saving the life of a man who was now choosing to die. “All I keep thinking is you and I are throwing so much away. We should be together. You’re the love of my life and it is stupid, just stupid for us to keep pretending. I love you. I want to be with you, for real, forever. It’s as simple as that.” Then they kissed and I just about fell over with excitement!! This was the moment Crowen shippers had been waiting for, but what happened next wasn’t nearly as hopeful.

NEXT: What are belly buddies?

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