”The Hills”: Jason tells Lauren he’s engaged
So I could say the theme for this episode was bad, bad, bad nose jobs (seriously, did little Bunney Jen-Jen go to the surgeon with a picture of Heidi and say, ”I want that one!” or what?), but instead I’m going to go with premature marriage. And when I say ”premature,” I mean it in every sense of the word.
Let’s start with the couple we all love to hate — Speidi. Apparently their lives have gotten so boring that the camera crew has resorted to following them to what looked like a Crate & Barrel to register for wedding gifts. (Mad props go to the first TV Watcher who can find out if the lovebirds really have registered somewhere — though that might be hard if they did it under an alias, such as Dumb and Dumber.) Okay, so Spencer may have had a valid point when he said, ”I just think it’s silly to make people buy us a bunch of stuff that we’re not going to use,” but then again, what 23-year-old actually cares about eating off of fine china while sipping from a crystal glass? (I mean, he’s used to Solo cups and paper plates.) Registering for these items is about building your household and life together, and if Spencer can’t take that seriously, how is he ever going to take on being a husband?
To make matters worse, Spencer admitted his parents don’t even know he’s engaged (insert my nonshocked expression here), and Heidi didn’t really seem to give a crap. In fact, if you go back and watch the scene over again, as I did, it almost seems for a second that she was about to burst out laughing when he delivered the news. Then when she asked him, ”Why, are you embarrassed?” he also looked like he was about to crack a smile, too. Cut to serious expressions on both of their faces. Am I going nuts? Was the scene just edited poorly? Or (and this is what I have my money on) is all of this wedding nonsense Speidi’s way of getting more camera time by staging what I’m still hoping is a fake engagement?
Speaking of nonsense, can we discuss Heidi’s random outing with Jen Bunney to look at bridal gowns? I don’t know why, but I was surprised when Heidi said to her, ”Are you excited for your dress?” Honestly does Heidi not have any other friends who qualify as bridesmaid material over Jen Bunney? Since Lauren is out of the wedding, does that then make Jen a bridesmaid by default? If that’s the case, that must suck.
Jen bashing aside, I do have to admit I was glad to hear her say to Heidi, ”Do you ever think maybe this isn’t right? Like I believe people fall in love, but I think like at this age it’s easy to fall out of love. That’s why I get scared.” Of course Heidi had a typical rebuttal: ”Obviously you’re not in the right mind frame, but for me it’s just different, like I don’t want to picture my life without him. Like I would feel my soul mate is gone.” Excuse me while I go vomit.
NEXT: Jason’s engagement kegger