‘The Hills’ recap: What’s dinner among friends?
Last night’s episode of The Hills began with Lauren and Whitney’s trainer (anyone recall if that’s the same one that asked Whitney out on a date last year? I’m guessing it’s not, because if that were the case, he probably would’ve been deemed worthy enough to get an on-screen name tag) providing more than just tips on how to work out their abs: ”If you’re friends with your girl, you don’t go out with an ex — unless you get the stamp of approval,” he said as Lauren punched his raised palms. He was, of course, referring to last week’s SDD (Stephanie-Doug date. How fitting that when abbreviated it sounds a little like STD?). While he sort of has a point, since when do (A) guys even give a crap whether or not girlfriends seek approval from each other?; (B) trainers offer relationship advice?; and, finally, (C) girls wear jewelry when they’re working out? Okay, so that last one has nothing to do with anything relevant, but c’mon, ladies, the gym is not a fashion show.
At school in the following days, Lauren and She-Pratt had their post-SDD awkward run-in. I was anxious to see how Lauren was going to handle the reunion, but instead I found myself staring directly at her ”mustache” (yes, the same imperfection many of you TV Watchers have pointed out in the past, which may very well be a case of bad shadows, but for our purposes let’s just pretend it’s real). I kept hoping Stephanie would bust out with ”Jeez, honey! Wax much?” And then Lauren would reply, ”When your friends are betraying you, you have a different set of priorities,” but apparently neither had seen the Sex and the City movie enough times to quote it.
Focusing our attention back onto the situation at hand, Stephanie explained to Lauren that Doug was using her to get back at Lauren and that she had deleted his number from her cell, even though she kept getting missed calls from him. Keep in mind, though, that throughout most of this conversation she chose to look directly at the camera instead of at Lauren, as she would have if she had been truly apologetic. Then, to top it all off, Stephanie said she was still going to go to Doug’s party, claiming that she RSVP’ed ”weeks ago before I was even friends with him.” Because, you know, that makes about as much sense as it does for Lauren to have cut her Italy trip off two days early. (I mean, once you purchase a pink Balenciaga handbag, what other purpose do you have being in that country?)
Faster than you can say, “All Pratts are cunning liars,” Stephanie was on another SDD at the Bella restaurant, grumbling about the web of deceit she’d created. Doug, ever the model of manhood that he is, insisted that he would have her back if anyone (specifically Brody and/or Frankie) tried to give her a problem. ”If you get any crap for it, I’ll back you up,” he said. ”I’ll be like hey, listen, she didn’t do anything wrong. Boom, be quiet.” How about you wipe that smirk off your face, Doug, and maybe try admitting that
the only reason you’re on the show is to pimp your pretty face out there so you can become the ”Next Big Thing” in L.A. you’re also to blame?
NEXT: Everybody out of the pool