Michelle Kung
May 09, 2007 AT 04:00 AM EDT

”House”: One twisted friendship

I’ve championed the twisted yet still somehow touching friendship between House and Wilson before, but last night’s mutual-doping brinkmanship solidified their status as the show’s bestest couple ever. Too many series merely assert that central characters are friends and force audiences to accept the relationship at face value, but over the past few episodes, Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard have really sold House and Wilson’s rapport. The result? Comedy gold. I could tell something was up the second House pulled out a mortar and pestle to grind up some white pills, but I had no idea that Wilson — who, in true twisted-friend fashion, was sneaking House antidepressants in his coffee — would soon be on the receiving end of an unexpected amphetamine high. Plus, who knew that RSL, who prefers his film and theater roles dark and darker, would be so genius at conveying a jittery, sweaty, winking mess of a man trying to get through a patient exam (”I have to go to a breast thing”) and passing off symbolicating as a word?

The week’s man love did not, however, extend to Foreman. After having tendered his resignation (an anticlimactic plot development, seeing as Omar Epps isn’t going anywhere soon), the newly touchy-feely doctor was saved a ”please stay” spiel from Cuddy (who did, at least, try to make him see that he was making a mistake) but had to explain his decision to co-duckling Cameron (whom he not-so-nicely dismissed as weak to her face) and told Chase, ”I don’t like you — never have, never will.” Looks like the misanthrope doth protest too much. The ”exiting” doctor also got an expectedly sarcastic verbal beating from the boss, who not only offered to throw a Mermaid Under the Stars-themed goodbye party and declared that his mini-me was off to raise llamas but also upped the number of zingers. (”You can’t ignore [a symptom] because it’s a minority — or can you, Foreman?”)

Chase, meanwhile, returned to his naturally sycophantic ”eager beaver” status and told House, ”Most of your jokes are excellent.” But unlike the Chase of earlier seasons, current Chase actually remained charming through his smarminess — especially whenever he became the episode’s Greek chorus, narrating both Foreman’s and House’s shame over the former’s departure. The improving diagnostician also thankfully stopped his weekly pursuit of Cameron (at least on screen), although he lost points for sticking a big, fat needle into the eye of the Patient of the Week — an uncomfortably graphic scene I literally watched between the cracks of my fingers. The scene was nothing, however, compared to the sight of the otherwise typical college student’s brains falling out of her head. Wow. I realize her brains weren’t really oozing out, but can you imagine lying down for a test only to realize that the top of your head has a leaking, bloody hole? Clearly the writers were trying to convey some parallels through their grody gross-out scenes, especially after House had his weekly aha! moment and determined that the body-wide organ failure of his randomly bleeding patient was caused by an unsuccessful suicide attempt via kitchen cleaner in a gelcap.

Last but not least, there was the new issue of 26-year-old vegan nutritionist-temptress Honey, played by Piper Perabo, who will forever be known as ”that girl from Coyote Ugly.” It’s too early to judge her status as House’s love interest (though she has cute taste in ”cool toe-loop sandals”), but so far, she’s not bugging me. Judging by the lying ex-boyfriend she brought into the clinic, she’s not too discriminatory in whom she dates, and age, schmage. I don’t know any gal who’d turn down Hugh Laurie. And as for dating House, ”How miserable can you be saving lives, sleeping around, and doing drugs?”

But what about you guys? How do you think the Honey arc is going to play out? Do you have any doubts that Foreman is returning? And should House have told the patient’s parents their daughter was suicidal?

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