'House' recap: It would never work out | EW.com

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'House' recap: It would never work out

House becomes obsessed with a mosquito bite as he avoids dealing with Cuddy and her feelings (or his own) about their kiss, and the team treats an agoraphobic man

‘House’ recap: It would never work out

Music nerds have a saying about songs: “Don’t bore us, get to the chorus.” I personally am not a fan of noodling — endless, meandering guitar-noise explorations. And some of these House episodes feel like filler. Like this one. So it took an entire episode to get House back to Cuddy’s door before he walked away to the sounds of Big Star’s “I’m In Love a Girl” (nice music choice here, though). The stunted rapport between House and Cuddy would not have been so awful to witness — real life is often equally slow — if the patient plotline had been more engaging.

So we had an agoraphobic hermit who claimed that he is happy by himself in his house because thanks to the Internet he can have all his food and entertainment needs met. Nobody believes the lonesome guy’s claim of okay-ness, and his plight echoes House’s state as an emotional shut-in. There was lots of activity in hallways these past weeks. House didn’t get past Cuddy’s foyer during their makeout session, and Cameron and her cohorts did a lot of medical work in the patient’s entranceway.

We learned that last night’s patient, who became truly closed off after he and his girlfriend were shot (she was killed, he was wounded), has been afraid of people and the outdoors his whole life. And yet, we never get into the real origin of his dilemma. We don’t get past his biographical front door either. Instead we are left with an incredible plot in which Cameron and company sneak medical equipment into the guy’s house so Chase can fake doing bowel surgery to fix the patient’s constipation.

I would love to try some of these medical adventures (sans illness, natch) and ask my doctor to bring his office to my apartment. How did they move all that stuff? Ambulance? The trunk of Taub’s Beemer? Did Kutner rent a U-Haul? And if a hospital tongue depressor can cost $10, what was the bill for lugging surgical gear? While I am talking unrealities, I must confess to coveting House’s office furniture. He has Noguchi lamps and the Eames lounge chair and ottoman, which had to have set Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital back $3,600. Every time I saw House snoozing away on his plush white corduroy recliner, I thought, “This tedious episode maks me want to take a nap in an expensive room, too!” But alas, I persevered on my cheapee Crate & Barrel love seat.

NEXT: Extreme blockage