As a bald dude once wrote, the course of true love never did run smooth. Just when you think you’ve finally achieved your happy ending, BAM! — along comes a cranky king, or a wicked queen, or your paramour’s pesky current wife. While true love triumphed in The Land of Make Believe tonight, our gang’s Storybrooke alter egos weren’t quite as lucky as their magical mates. Especially poor Kathryn, who might just be rotting away in a cell next to Belle’s right about now.
In our first fairyback, Princess Abigail — wearing a charming couch-inspired ensemble — greets King
Charles Widmore George on the eve of her wedding. The mean monarch neglects to tell his prospective daughter-in-law that Prince James has gone full Runaway Groom. As the two royals are chatting, Charming is racing away from them as fast as he can. Though he manages to outmaneuver his “father”‘s men, James is soon captured by another pair of knights — ones who happen to work for Abigail. Turns out that Charming’s betrothed is much cooler than we’ve all given her credit for: She has no interest in marrying the prince. What’s more, she knows James loves Snow White, and she wants to help get him back to her.
Kathryn, unfortunately, hasn’t gotten the same memo. She’s still determined to save her flailing marriage; her latest idea is to take David and move to Boston, where the two of them can enjoy a fresh start and a few nice bowls of clam chowdah. When David breaks the news to MM, she sensibly says that his only choice now is to tell his wife about the affair. After all, it’d be better for Kathryn to hear the news from him than from someone else. (Famous last words, eh?) David reluctantly agrees to have The Talk, and we all breathe premature sighs of relief.
Emma is also making romantic progress. The Storybrooke Stranger bumps into her outside of Granny’s and says that he’d like to finally have that drink she promised him. Emma asks if he’s asking her out; Stranger responds, “If putting a label on it makes you more comfortable, then sure.” Ahhh, Emma — run, run, as fast as you can! Dudes who don’t believe in labels also don’t believe in things like birthday cards, compliments, and not making out with that other girl.
After finally prompting the Stranger to reveal his name — August Wayne Booth, for those keeping score at home — Emma heads inside for a confession session with Mary Margaret. The teacher reveals that she and David have been sneaking around. Emma, in turn, reveals that she knew all along. Nice sleuthing, Sheriff! According to MM, though, the subterfuge will soon be over for good: David’s going to tell Kathryn everything. After taking a careful head count, she’s also come up with exactly 11 chickens.
Though David does tell Kathryn that he can’t go to Boston with her, he completely wimps out on giving her the real reason. David vaguely blames “something” for preventing him from connecting with his wife. He neglects to mention that “something” is about 5’6″ with a pixie haircut and a closet filled with cute knit caps.
NEXT: The Hottie in the Lake