Uh oh, Snow White – better keep a close eye on your mostly-pure heart.
Tonight’s episode of Once was a lengthy meditation on fear that culminated in wicked Zelena getting her once-green mitts on a very special magical item: Prince Charming’s courage, or at least “a symbol of it,” according to Regina. So far, there don’t seem to be any immediate consequences to what just happened; it’s not as though David immediately turned into a sniveling coward once his courage was gone. We can, however, infer that the Witch is on some kind of Wizard of Oz-inspired collecting spree – one that, more likely than not, will find her looking to gather up a (symbolic) heart and brain to go with her newfound courage. Given her interest in Charming’s wife, as well as the show’s historical interest in what’s beating within the princess’s chest, it stands to reason that Snow’s heart may be next on Zelena’s list. (Think a cow as white as milk and a cape as red as blood also made it in?)
But here’s the million dollar question: Where’s she going to get the brain? Because if “The Tower” is any indication, there may be a serious shortage of smarts on Once.
Okay, maybe that’s a little too harsh. Amendment: There’s a serious shortage of smarts among Once’s royal couple.
Exhibit A: Tonight’s Fairyback, which begins with Charming having a spooky stress dream about fatherhood (dig that Exorcist doll!). He wakes up in the Fairy Land of nine months ago only to learn that his extremely pregnant-looking wife is… pregnant. Like, come on, Charming. You seriously didn’t notice the beach ball Snow’s been smuggling under her chaste nightgowns? (Also: How does she look that pregnant if it’s nine months before a present-day Storybrooke where Snow still hasn’t given birth? Watch the answer be “magic.”)
Anyway, this completely new information immediately sends Charming into a tailspin of anxiety. The last time he and Snow tried to procreate, they wound up with a sarcastic 28-year-old car thief as a daughter; how might they end up screwing up this kid? He goes to drown his sorrows in his secret stash of stable hooch – it’s got a real oaky horseyness – where he runs into Robin Hood, who’s got just the thing to distract Charming from his woes: A story about a magical fear-vanquishing plant called nightroot. (Not to be confused with dreamshade, which is hopefully localized entirely within a Never Land we’ll never have to visit again.)
And just like that, it’s questin’ time.
NEXT: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, chop off your hair!