”Project Runway”: Sarah Jessica Parker visits
Please excuse me, Runway fans, as I pause to wipe away my tears. Actually, I’m not even sure I can write this TV Watch without drenching my keyboard in salty drops of emotion.
Ah, I kid. But last night’s episode was hilariously teary. And surprisingly, the first dam to burst wasn’t even Ricky. It was Chris, who gotverklemmt when Tim Gunn revealed the ”pop culture/fashion icon” guest judge to be none other than style maven extraordinaire Sarah Jessica Parker. Weeping, Chris said he was a huge SJP fan. And if that wasn’t enough to warm your hearts, then surely the sight of him clamming up in front of her while pitching his ideas did the trick. I defy anyone to convince me that Chris is not growing more adorable each week.
SJP was an inspired choice. I’m just surprised it took this long for Bravo to think of it. To judge from the contestants’ reactions, the prospect of designing for Parker’s Bitten line (albeit on a $15 budget) was tantamount to being offered the chance to run naked through Mood Fabrics with unlimited store credit. ”We were flipping like…You just can’t imagine,” said ”Carmen-like-the-opera, Webber-like-the-baller,” doing zilch to reverse the stereotype of the inarticulate (former) model. Ricky, of course, quickly joined the soggy chorus, sniffling, ”The first challenge, I feel like I sucked.” (Oh, Ricky, you’re too hard on yourself. You merely stank last week.) Then there was Elisa. RGL (that’s Rain Goddess Lady) appeared immune to the dizzying charms of celebrity. But maybe that’s because on her planet of grass stains and spit marks, SJP is still known as the awkward, frizzy-haired teen from Square Pegs.
And besides, Elisa was too busy opining about ”polymorphic” clothing to get starstruck. I was sure that her esoteric mumbo-jumbo would turn Parker off. But no, when it came time for the Sex and the City star to announce the seven designers to lead teams of two, RGL was the first one she named. And as soon as Sweet P told us, ”I love to work in teams, but I definitely want to be on a good team,” it was clear she’d get stuck with Elisa. After RGL explained that she spits on her material to ”imbibe it with energy and essence,” Sweet P crossed herself. And I nearly spat a mouthful of water on my colleague Jessica Shaw, with whom I had the pleasure of watching this episode.
I will say this of Elisa: As far out as she is on her ”happy planet” (as Sweet P called it), she was smart enough to let her partner rein in her poly-foolishness. Their minidress and cape ensemble was chic — and mercifully devoid of exploding-fabric potty accidents in the rear. Frankly, as long as Elisa refrains from explaining, Vincent-style, that a garment ”gets me off” or ”turns me on,” she can spend the entire season sermonizing on the creative powers of her third eye for all I care.
Christian, meanwhile, continued the bratty posturing from last week. When Tim dropped by his and Carmen’s station and rightly questioned aspects of their skintight turquoise dress and black motocross-style jacket, Christian retorted, ”I think it’s perfect….It’s definitely hot.” Then he went on to brag about how ”fierce” it was. (He’s obviously an abuser of this term. So I’ve officially begun a ”fierce” count for the season. I believe with last week, we’re up to 3.) Despite his prediction that he’d wind up in the top two, little Chrissy landed in the bottom two. The judges didn’t dig his retro ’80s look, which SJP deemed too severe. Also a no-no: The outfit would never work for any woman bigger than a size 2. SJP stated very plainly that Bitten is all about a we’re beautiful in all shapes and sizes ethos. (Thanks for that, girlfriend!) But Christian, who looks like he could wear a junior’s size 0 with room to squeeze in a pet poodle or two, just didn’t seem to care.
NEXT: A tragic look