Mike Yarish/Lifetime Networks
Missy Schwartz
October 02, 2009 AT 05:49 PM EDT

Happy Friday, Runway friends! Before I plunge into the Blue Period Ruffle Kerfuffle that was last night’s show, allow me a quick moment to plugProject Runway Talk, a new EW.com series (produced by our award-winning Idolatry guru Jason Averett) in which EW superstar Dalton Ross and yours truly will be interviewing Runwayejectees. Starting today, we’ll be taping the chats every Friday morning, so be sure to check back here later for our premiere episode, which is sure to BLOW. YOUR. MIND. (Hyperbole?Moi? Nevah!)

Now back to our regularly scheduling programming.

I’ll give last night’s challenge this much — after the ill-defined cinematic mess of last week, the Macy’s task was at least clear: Design some blue stuff that people who buy our in-house brand Inc. would like! And if you do this well, we’ll let you create a ”holiday dress” to be sold in ”select” Macy’s stores and on our website! Why blue? Well, I’m glad you asked! Because it’s got both ”soft, romantic hues” and more ”electric” tones. In other words, variety — as opposed to every other color on the spectrum! Oh, and the best thing about Inc. is that ”it’s only available at Macy’s!”

Wow. Somebody alert the good folks at Guinness so we can get that last fact into the 2009 Book of World Records.

Anyhoo, after Tim explained the sponsor-friendly challenge, the remaining 10 designers pitched their ideas to Macy’s representative Martine Reardon, then paired off into teams of two. No one was too jazzed about this part, but they dug the whole Macy’s angle. ”This is the best challenge any designer could ever, ever hope for,” Irina opined. Woah — really? Macy’s is the apogee of your artistic hopes and dreams? Well hey, at least she liked something. Cause for the rest of the hour, she pretty much hated on everything else — starting with the idea of a uniformly blue dress. ”You just feel like you’re a walking color,” she sneered. (Hey! Cookie Monster and Grover resent that anti-monochrome remark!) Then there were all her disparaging comments about Gordana:

”YOU’RE STRESSING ME OUT!” (as repeated by Gordana)

”Katie’s looking okay in my dress. However, the look Gordana is working on is sort of a disaster.”

And finally, of Gordana’s blouse: ”It’s so sad and depressing-looking and I need to sort of liven it up.”

In the end, Irina forced herself to squeak out the faintest of praise for her teammate: ”Gordana could have been more proactive, but the dress looks a lot better on the model than on the mannequin.” Madame G., meanwhile, suffered under Irina’s totalitarianism. ”I didn’t get any direction. I was so frustrated!” she fumed, moving her facial muscles for what I’m pretty sure was the first time all season. (Perhaps speaking expressively was a no-no in the communist Yugoslavia of her youth.) The stoic-of-face designer might not be a go-getter, but she’s no dummy, either. She knew that had she not delivered a decent-looking top, Irina ”would have completely, as they day, thrown me on [sic] the bus.” Well, jeez. I hope she’d at least give you exact change for fare.

Naturally, because she holds advanced degrees in equal-opportunity beyotchery, Irina made time to diss Shirin and Carol Hannah, who were getting along just fine, thankyouverymuch, and were minding their own business. ”Their stuff looks like it was bought in, like, a discount store,” Irina said, lip duly curled. ”It’s very, like, $10-shirt-on-sale-for-$5.99 kind of thing.” Not according to Tim. Dressed not in his usual tidy suits, but in jeans, a striped Oxford and a plaid blazer that were all very hip-professor chic, Tim mused that the ladies ”had the potential to knock people’s socks off.” Yes, even though they were incorporating one of his pet peeves! ”Never mind,” he said, shaking his head. ”Don’t get me on leggings!” To which I say: Word, brother. Having lived through the leggings trend in my teens, I’ll be damned if my 34-year-old gams are gonna embrace those things again now.

NEXT: Necessity should have mothered a reinvention

( 1 of 4 )

You May Like