My first thought upon hearing the news of Andrea’s self-kidnapping: Please don’t bring Raul back! I can’t bear to look at him again. More on that later.
While everyone was sleeping, Andrea packed up her things and ran away in the dead of the night after her teammate Chris threw her under the bus at last week’s judging. Chris and Gunnar, arguably the two least mature individuals of the season, were shocked by the immaturity of Andrea’s actions, and I have to say, I’m siding with the scrufftastic boys on this one. House mother Tim Gunn was worried sick to find Andrea hadn’t even left a note. I mean, how was it even possible for her to slip out like that without anyone from production knowing? Don’t reality TV contestants have Hunger Games-level supervision and surveillance surrounding them at all times? Did she have to leap across a fire pit in the lobby of the Atlas building to escape?
Either way, Project Runway isn’t some one night stand you can just sneak out on in the middle of the night. When Tim and the designers convened at the Michael Kors flagship to talk about this week’s “woman on the go” challenge, they took a moment to bask in their superiority over quitter Andrea. “Fashion is not for sissies!” Michael decreed. “The fashion industry is a shark,” Elena drawled. “If you can’t handle it, then maybe you shouldn’t be in this industry because that’s the way it is.” Just like the Ukraine, right? (Side note: From some angles, Elena bears a striking resemblance to Rachel Dratch).
Back in the work room, Kooan continued slumping around like the sad Zoloft egg from last week, and while Tim was updating the group on Andrea’s mysterious disappearance, Kooan suddenly announced that he wanted to leave, too. In a matter of seconds, the workroom devolved into an elementary school classroom in which all the kids start crying at once. Nathan tearfully confessed that he wanted to leave, too. It’s like when you were a kid and you saw that one kid got out of being in the Christmas pageant by throwing a hissy fit, so you throw a hissy fit too. For a second, it looked like there might be a cast-wide walkout. But instead, Kooan was the only casualty in this round of quitting, and he left our lives forever with a bow of his fluffy-haired head. I blame Mean-a Irina for this. I blame Mean-a Irina for most things.
Ugh. With Kooan out, Raul and his widow’s peak came back in with a big womp-womp. Will his comeback be glorious like Chris March’s, or will he be right back out like that, errr, “confused” Mormon from a couple of seasons ago? Let’s see what happens on the runway!
NEXT: Heroes star Hayden Panettiere and designer Rachel Roy guest-judge the women-on-the-go runway.