Barbara Nitke/Lifetime
Stephan Lee
September 06, 2013 AT 05:30 AM EDT

Can Lifetime please make a Tim Gunn doll so I can dress him up in all sorts of outfits and take him with me wherever I go? There are plenty of weirdos like me who’d buy one. That’s my creepy way of saying I love all the costumes he’s been wearing this season, and the referee outfit with shorts is my favorite thus far.

Tim, his whistle, and his pale gams took the designers to a field where they had to participate in a relay race, purely for our viewing pleasure. Several of the designers expressed their lack of athletic prowess, surprising exactly no one. Alexander claimed that he hadn’t exercised since 1876, confirming America’s suspicions that he’s a vampire.

The first-place finishers didn’t even get a significant prize — first choice in fabric, an extra hour to sew — but we were the real winners because we got to see Jeremy and Alexander fumble in the flag-grab pit. Gentlemen, I know sports aren’t your strong suit, but please, have some pride.

Ken started the episode off with another unfunny and cruel quip, comparing his racing partner Karen to a grandma. Karen is only 29, and she appears to be way stronger than smack-talking Ken.

Out of a field of supremely unimpressive contenders, Justin and Dom won the relay race. In the words of Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek, Truly stunning.

NEXT: When life hands you lemons, make Lululemonade

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