I think it’s fair to say that Lawrence stole last night’s show. In a series devoted to cheez—think the She by Sheree fashion show, Phaedra’s maids-a-milking bridal shower, Kim and Kandi’s strip mall tour—Lawrence upped the ante with a Gaga-esque performance of his single. And in a franchise devoted to women who pretend to be friends while they’re reaching for one another’s necks, it was kind of dear to witness Sheree’s genuine excitement for her friend. Is that what Atlanta has been missing this whole rather laborious season? Moments of genuine camaraderie and fun? Anyways, Sheree was there for Lawrence, beaming like a Mama Bear, just as she’d been there in her Uggs, squished onto an end table, last week on Watch What Happens Live. Spin-off! Spin-off!
Now let’s all send good thoughts to Cynthia’s poor mother and sister, who really deserve a spa day after all that wedding drama. Their beloved Cynthia was a mess, ready to outfit her bridesmaids in Target wear and sign off on a cash bar. (Maybe Dad would pony up the needed three thou? Aw gee, he’d really, really like to but … Same old story of all the men on this show. Ma to the rescue as usual.)
Dear Mal—who is sweet and good and yet I still can’t stop thinking of Whitney Houston’s sister in The Bodyguard every time she’s on screen—did her best to talk her hand-wringing sister into running. Her mistake though was presuming that Cynthia held the vows of marriage sacred. “Once you do it, it’s done,” warned Mal. “No, you can get a divorce,” said our resident romantic. Save it for your vows Cynthia! Mal started crying, Cynthia fled the house and started aimlessly roaming the sun-bleached streets of Atlanta. This was Housewives-verite filmmaking, with the Bravo editing team snickering to themselves as they panned to close-up shots of STOP signs and “You Big Dummy!” on Cynthia’s t-shirt. As Cynthia sunk miserably into herself on a park bench, scaring the neighborhood children off the jungle gym, Mom showed up. Now she was crying too, telling her daughter that she didn’t have a good feeling about this cursed wedding.
But Cynthia only wanted the advice of her champagne glass, to which she showed more lusty affection than she ever has Peter. She had a slightly slurring heart-to-heart with her very charming daughter Noelle. “You are the love of my life and no one can ever replace you,” said Cynthia, “and it’s me and you, like, and Peter”—yeah, yeah, that guy, whatever—”but it’s me and you. But, and Peter.” Noelle endured her mother’s rambling with grace, nodding politely that yes, she loved Ma more than Jaden Smith.
NEXT: Peter is so wasted; Mal throws her hands up in the air.