Welcome to regular recaps of season 6 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta! The ladies of Atlanta hold a special place in my heart: Not only are they from my home state, but these women are business owners, entrepreneurs, wives, mothers. And also totally out of their damn minds. They have get-togethers for four people catered, they become morticians in acts of whimsy, they start sex toy businesses and buy six houses and say things like, “Everyone knows an opinion is like an anus…we all have one.” What’s not to love?
Episode 2 finds Kenya winning her court case against that jerk Tanya the Landlord who tried to evict her. Kenya exits the courthouse with an attorney who looks far too sensible to be involved in this only to find “the paparazzi” waiting on her, anxious to get the verdict of her trial back to the front page editor of The New York Times straight away. Of course, by paparazzi I mean two dudes who Kenya paid to skip third period English and come take pictures of her with their digi-cams, and one guy who seems to have just wandered up for a chat. And by The New York Times, I mean Media Takeout, if she’s lucky.
Checking in on Porsha Stewart’s Sad But Honest Trip to Self-Discovery: Porsha has been staying with her mom (who is also Beyoncé’s mom because that woman is undoubtedly Tina Knowles) since Kordell filed for divorce and while rifling through her mom’s mail to find her spousal support check, she lets her know she won’t be spending a dime of it on a new place to live. Her mom momentarily looks like she dies a little inside but then lights back up realizing how much more they’ll be able to talk mad trash about Kordell, seemingly their family’s only hobby.
Still up in the clouds after her victory in court (and probably egging that jerk Tanya’s house), Kenya arranged a lunch with Nene to discuss how everyone can’t stand her, present company included. Nene arrives in a full camouflage outfit, because no one establishes dominance quite like Nene Leakes. Kenya greets her with what is apparently her standard Nene greeting these days – “Look at you, skinny Minnie” – but Nene doesn’t have time for brown nosing. She’s got TV shows to film, husbands to marry, lives to change.
Nene sets the tone of how this conversation will go: “I’m this friend: I’m going to tell you when you’re right and I’m going to tell you when you’re wrong.” I like when people explain the kind of friend they’re going to be to me; it’s very helpful in knowing what to expect. I’m sending out an email to my friends right now that reads, “I’m this friend: I’m only going to text you back about 60 percent of the time, but when I do, the extreme use of emojis will be well worth the wait.”
NEXT: Is anyone worse than Cynthia’s terrible husband Peter?